Month 9: pregnancies are less painful and at least you get a baby at the end

Action #9: The main feature here is much more like we expect from GMoz, but for me Gene Ha's art is so overwhelming I just feel like I'm reading Top 10. It takes place on an alternate Earth, and sees a visit from a yet further Earth which (as you'd expect) doesn't go well for anybody. A return to form then, but you can see why it was delayed so that all the alternate Earth stuff starts at the same time. DID SUPERBOY PUNCH THE UNIVERSE FOR NOTHING? Hulk should have done it instead. WHEN HULK PUNCH UNIVERSE, UNIVERSE STAY PUNCHED. Solly Fisch's take on the Qurac of Earth 23 seems to be ruled by Borat. Oh well.

Animal Man #9: Wahey! It's Dallas' Pam & Bobby plot all over again. THE GMOZ ERA OF ANIMAL MAN WAS ALL A DREAM. The change to Steve Pugh throughout improves the book for me immensely, but there are still panels I hate (such as Buddy flying). Ellen has decided she's had enough and is leaving Buddy, despite what Maxine and the talking cat say. Buddy is possessed by The Rot, while simultaneously fighting The Rot in The Red. Constantine shows up at the end to explain it to Ellen, while Cliff wants his dad to join the Justice League so they can have a cool house. DOESN'T HE READ COMICS? DOESN'T HE REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME HIS DAD JOINED THE JUSTICE LEAGUE? There's no telling some people.

Batwing #9: Batwing goes to a fancy dinner, where the Owls try to kill Lucius Fox. He stops making sexy xhit-chat with girlies and being disgusted by Heads of State just long enough to put on his suit, when he learns the same things we've known about the Owls for weeks now over about 1/3 of the pages. He beats the Owl by exploding his arms off, then punches a Prime Minister. There are worse books than this out thre.

Detective #9: MORE OWLS. Some have come for Jeremiah Arkham, but Bats has followed them and uses Arkham's plan of using the Black Mask to get them for him by getting everybody else (including Clayface) to get them for him. In some ways typical Bat fodder, and I hope there aren't more Owls books this simplistic, but it'll do for now. The ongoing Two Face backup is great stuff though, closer to police procedural than anything else, and is the real reason for buying this month on month. Sorry Owls.

Dial H #1: As a massive fan of China Mieville's books, I was avidly waiting this since it was announced and damn it all if this isn't some of the most fun I've had since... whenever. Instantly witty, inventive and engaging; this is like the distillation of the things we thought were brilliant about GMoz's Doom Patrol and made better. This is the comic that Warren Ellis thinks he writes when he puts pen to paper. DO NOT MISS.

Earth 2 #1: I have to say, I'm not really sure what this book is for. Parademons overwhelm Metropolis but Batman sacrifices himself to wipe them out and save his daughter Helena (who will undoubtedly become the Huntress but is currently dressed as Robin). Superman is overwhelmed and killed, leaving Supergirl to escape through a Boom Tube with Robin to the first issue of World's Finest (but more on that later). Wonder Woman is stabbed through the chest and dies, but not before her shiny friend Mercury escapes and eventually happens across Jay Garrick, who becomes Flash next month. As a framing narrative it hangs together fine, but I have no idea where the clamour is for this book at all, other than to give James Robinson (for it is he) a sandbox to play in. He must have a really complicated contract because although I love The Shade book that's currently running I think I'm the only one that's actually buying it.

GI Combat #1: This is an old trick, just renaming a book, surely? And while it might have worked in the days when books were available on every newsstand and sold pretty much irrespective of the content, in these more picky days it's hard to see how rebranding Men of War is actually going to work, although this is supposed to focus on DC's old Weird War books rather than Sgt Rock so who knows. Starting with The War That Time Forgot is a good start, and picking up Unknown Soldier (which has always been a solid book) isn't bad either. Unfortunately giving it to JT Krul is a baffling decision. The art of Ariel Olivetti rescues it to a large degree and once we get free of dialogue (only the first couple of pages have actual real speaking on them) it's quite easy to just glide along with the images perfectly well. Gray and Palmiotti deliver yet another new take on the Unknown Soldier and those familiar with their work elsewhere won't be surprised that they handle the tale of a facially scarred war veteran killing for vengeance and bounties with style. Dump yer man Krul and this could be a winner.

Green Arrow #9: Ann Nocenti has, frankly, turned Green Arrow into unreadable crap (and we all know who was writing this before, so that's some claim). The conclusion to the sexy triplets story takes in kidnapped polar bears, gold mining in the Old West, paralysis drugs to heighten sexy fun times, muskrats, eskimos, genetic manipulation and helicopters. Even once you take breath, you still realise it's rubbish. Could it ever be good again? Who knows?

JLI #9: OMAC shows up looking for Batman, which he does with his fists. Guy Gardner dresses up as Iron Man to punch him, and calls him a fish a lot. Once they all make friends in the sewer they fly to Paris to eat some cheese, drink some wine, see the sights, maybe a little love will bloom... nope. The Firestorms have shown up and I suspect there's going to be a FITE soon. It's not very good, this.

Red Lanterns #9: Or, as the cover says, the DEAD Lantern Corps. DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. So, this issue seems to take place simultaneously before, during and after itself. Bleez at one point refers to GL:NG, then a couple of panels later has no knowledge of it. Still, let's just go RARRR RARRR GNNNN RAGE RAGE GNNN for a bit instead of plot. At the end, Atrocitus' cat Dex-starr (which was ripped to death in #1) is back. Good, that's bound to help.

Stormwatch #9: Some guy turns up in Rome who seems to think he's already in Stormwatch and gets sucked away to the Carrier to explain. Not Batman and Not Superman go to Devon where they fight one of the Red Lanterns, but it must be summer because it's too cloudy for Not Superman's sun-related powers to work properly. So Not Batman cuts his ring arm off. He goes back to the Carrier for some deep probing. Meanwhile the Renaissance Roman escapes until Not Batman kills him, at which point the Red Ring decides he's GNNNN RAGE RAGE quality but is stopped from making his finger all pretty by the Engineer. Not Batman then has a lovely daydream about how nice it would be to be Batman, but he likes killing people too much to give it up. Best issue of this in 6 months.

Swamp Thing #9: Last issue's cliffhanger of sorts is dispatched with during this well-paced issue which is never less than beautiful. In many ways a successor to the Rite of Spring, Alec talks Abby out of being Queen of the Rot by reminding how how much he loves her, how he changes peaches to the way she likes them, the way foxfire glows... she then destroys Sethe, which badly traumatises William. But what's that? Abby's actions are bringing back Anton. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

Titans Annual #1: The old "pit one team against the other and because neither of them knows what's going on they fight" schtick, eh? The Tians and Legion Lost have a bit of a punchup, and we don't actually learn that much about The Culling. Luckily the premise is explained in the back pages of the issue (not in the storyline) - because N.O.W.H.E.R.E. make so many teenage heroes, sometimes they get them to fight each other to get rid of the weaker ones. Quite how this ties into bringing more in who they didn't make is not clear at all. Also, this is part 1 of 4, but the Legion Lost don't get there until part 3 of 4. Obviously. This book is kind of pointless, if I'm honest, and I'm not sure why it exists.

World's Finest #1: Where Robin and Supergirl from Earth 2 become Huntress and Power Girl on our Earth, and arrive from dinner just too late to see Mister Terrible go from our Earth to Earth 2 where (presumably) he will be better written. It's kind of fun in a Giffen/Maguire Justice League way, which is added to by having Kevin Maguire do the flashback pages, but not essential. On the other hand, having an actually readable book in the 52 is a bonus so hats off to Paul Levitz. Worth looking at.

Batgirl #9: Damn, if this isn't the best issue of this book to date. How much of it is down to Owls and how much is down to Gail Simone isn't clear, as the good bits (the female Owl - and specifically her training history, the attack on GCPD, the frankly ASTONISHINGLY GOOD Jim Gordon conclusion) feel like they were Bat-editorial decisions foisted on her. But the bottom line is this - if Owls is making Batgirl this good then you should be buying the trade when it turns up. Next up is Knightfall? wtf?

Batman #9: Despite having praised Gail Simone above, Scott Snyder is very probably the best Bat-writer of our generation. His work on this book just goes from strength to strength as this this issue sees the conclusion to the Owls in the Batcave and begins to reveal the extent with which the tertiary Gotham cast has been reduced as a result of this plotline. A triumph. There's a seemingly inessential Alfred backup story. Well, until the last page. BUY THE TRADES.

Batman & Robin #9: A tale of a single Owl told from start to finish, having waited nearly 250 years for this assignment. It's maybe a welcome change of pace in the overall plot, but by the same token is therefore less engaging. At one point I thought Damien was going to try and talk him out of it in the whole "DON'T YOU SEE? I'M JUST LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" emo nonsense we've been subjected to before, but this isn't where Batbooks are any more and that's got to be a good thing for everybody.

Deathstroke #9: A bad thing for everyone, not least for DC's accountants, is the continuing publication of Deathstroke. Of course, since this is now ALL LIEFELD ALL THE TIME it features SWORDS and POUCHES and NO FEET. I love the bit when one of his mates brings Deathstroke EXTRA POUCHES in the middle of a fight, but this is every bit as inept as his work on other Johnsiverse books would make you think. But this isn't the worst crime. After I noticed last month that Vega had been destroyed, I wondered what that meant for the Omega Men and now I got my answer. THEY'VE GIVEN THEM TO ROB FRICKIN' LIEFELD. Which means they all look alike. I seriously didn't realise it was them for 5 or 6 pages, and I'm a bit of a fanboy. THIS IS YOUR WORST BETRAYAL YET DIDIO. In the end, Zealot and Deathstroke go off to find Lobo. This can't work out well for anybody, not least the reader.

Demon Knights #9: A filler issue pretty much, churning bits of the Merlin plot and advancing it slowly, but the continuing reason why this is still one of the great unsung books of the Johnsiverse is simply that it's so different. Next month - SEA SERPENTS! You didn't see that coming now, did you?

Frankenstein #9: This rehashes parts of the current Animal Man plot and largely resolves the bit not being dealt with in that book through the use of a Magic Science Device Deus Ex Machina in two pages. We then get left with the notion that Frankie and Not Abe Sapien are going to make the beast with two backs. Really, not as worthwhile as BPRD.

Green Lantern #9: So, the Knights That Say Nok reveal that there's a new Older Than Time Began Threat to the GLC and that Abin Sur discovered it. And it's the Guardians themselves, which might have been nice for him to have told Hal right back at Day 1 if I'm honest. Anyway, he predicted everything Johnsy including that Blackest Night would happen. Again, it would have been nice to have said any of it. Dull rubbish.

Grifter #9: THE LIEFELDENING. Yet bizarrely they don't actually trust him to do the dialogue, so it's handled instead by "Frank Tieri". I'm going with scarequotes here, because this is SO Liefeld - and as inept as Deathstroke - that it has to be pseudonymous for tax reasons. On the plus side, it does show how much I hated Grifter before, and how badly written it was, because I can't help thinking it's slightly improved. Worse and better at the same time, huh? Fancy that.

Legion Lost #9: Culling blah blah. Oh wait, a Time Bubble? Are we flagging the end of the title here? But let's not find out, let's see a FITE. The Fairchild/Rose page is spectacularly bad, but the dialogue throughout is awful. I kind of hope this is the end, if I'm honest, as it's not being handled very well any more and I think I'd like to stop reading it now before my goodwill evaporates.

Resurrection Man #9: Best issue yet, by some significant margin as our hero is integrated into the mainstream Johnsiverse via the Suicide Squad. Actually, all the Belle Reve scenes are getting on for being - dare I say it - great. This could maybe turn out to be a hidden gem after all and I absolutely didn't see that coming.

Suicide Squad #9: The precursor to the issue above and, as expected, better. But that's mainly down to the Belle Reve material. Six words. Harleen Quintzel is back in charge. BOOM.

Superboy #9: The Culling is shit, isn't it? This is no exception.

Batwoman #9: Ugh. Dark pages, light pages, dark pages, light pages. This is really kind of painful to read, and the dialogue and plot don't help either. Tuomabait alert: lesbians are promiscuous and can't stay in a settled relationship without snogging the next lesbian they find. Somehow Batwoman is exempt from Owls, but then nobody has noticed the link between the utterly white skinned Kate Kane and the utterly white skinned Batwoman either so it's clearly set in Stupidtown and not Gotham. Bored with this now.
Birds of Prey #9: So, for those of you paying attention in the last review, you will no doubt be amazed that this is IN Owls. Which makes little sense. Anyway, quite early on it's clear that Duane S does not know who Edgar Allen Poe is, and possibly not Tim Burton either since he seems to confuse them. Whatever, we get some creative reuse of material from #1 and eventually the same plot as in Batgirl and/or B&R. It's still worth reading but wait for the Owls trades.
Blue Beetle #9: So, back in the days of GL:NG #1 we get this story, which I suppose3 means the first 8 issues of this happened prior to all the books that aren't Justice League. Or it's happening now and Red Lanterns isn't, plus all the previous issues of GL:NG have simultaneously happened and not happened. I wish people like Julie Schwartz were still running comics. In this, Blue Beetle gets an erection which Bleez doesn't notice but we're supposed to laugh at, and Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean turns up at a fancy dress party as Deathstroke. Laughably bad.
Captain Atom #9: Lurching from bad to worse, our old friend JT Krul makes us wonder for another month whose dick he's sucking at DC to stay employed. I'm not even going to try and summarise this, other than to say CA is the bad guy from all the previous issues due to wibbly wobbly timey wimey and is going to transform into a different bad guy who, presumably, he's going to fight in his own future. I don't know why I bother sometimes.
Catwoman #9: More Owl stuff as Cats saves Pengy from a fate worse than death because he owns a knife. The fact she has 5 doesn't seem to have attracted the Owl's attention, strangely. The Owl here doesn't seem to be affected by the same rules of Owliness as the other either. Kind of a nothing issue, if I'm honest.
DCU Presents #9: James Robinson brings us a Vandal Savage story which rips off Silence of the Lambs shockingly badly but is still a shining beacon in this, the cruellest week of the month. It's up to the standard we expect from him and thoroughly enjoyable - although it needs to go somewhere and not just meander like his current Shade book is in danger of doing.
Green Lantern Corps #9: John Stewart stands to be executed at the end of this tortuous piece of crap. I wish I was him. Than I'd know the next issue was my last one.
Justice League #9: Bleh. Goes nowhere in pursuit of a plot a mother couldn't love. The Shazam backup is the clear highlight as Sivana finds Black Adam. We think. And it rips off Preacher.
LoSH #9: A perfectly serviceable Legion book, and more coherent and/or plotted than in previous months, this exists in its own little bubble that has nothing to do with the Johnsiverse. The Dominators are still the biggest threat to everybody and nobody had said Daemonite at any point which by default makes it better than a great many of the reboot titles.
Nightwing #9: Another 20 pages, another Owl. This is really building to something - it looks like the whole Batfamily has been hand-picked over the years and are all tied into the history of the Owls. It also looks like the House of Leaves issue of Batman a few months ago wasn't an anti-Bats tactic but an attempt to recruit him to their cadre. PAY ATTENTION MARVEL. This is how to do a multi-book crossover event.
Red Hood #9: Maybe the best of all the crossover tie-ins, this has Jason saving Mr Freeze in Gotham's Chinatown and is an absolute blast from start to finish. Afte the controversy of the first issue this has grown and grown, and has got beyond guilty pleasure territory into a genuinely good read. I'm only sorry I judged it so quickly.
Supergirl #9: Conversely this went from a great start to a bag of shit in the blink of an eye. Michael Green has returned this book to the worst excesses of John Byrne's run on Superman, fake Oirish accents and all to be sure so it is begorrah. I'm only still reading for the issue where an alium pornographer makes Kara do a film with Scott Free. It must be coming soon.
Wonder Woman #9: A joy, as ever. The sequence when Aphrodite turns up in the park, or specifically the way the panels borders are drawn, is my favourite thing all month. Strife, as a character, goes from strength to strength. Hades in one of the most fun characters in any of the books. When did Brian Azzarello get this good? I flat out love this title and commend it to you all. Again.

All-Star Western #9: Old time Owls are, in many ways, more fun than modern ones. This is as solid as ever but if I'm completely honest it's an absolutely pointless crossover and we should have just stuck with the original storyline. The Nighthawk and Cinnamon backup is still pointless though, as the only message of note is that they fill in their time by making out.

Aquaman #9: The first half of this is light on plot and dialogue, making it nothing more than a succession of pictures of things you don't really care about. The second half has a lengthy conversation between Mera and the scientist bloke from before, which establishes pretty firmly that Arthur and Manta have previous, and that Arthur is a stinkypants liar to his wife. I had to read it to work this out. Go me.

David Finch's Batman The Dark Knight By David Finch #9: This book is perpetually better the less the David Finch content. This month it's just the pencils, on an Winicky Owls story which doesn't really stand up to the other Owls stories that well. Or is just too similar to the rest, which isn't what you want in the last week of the month. This takes place before Batman #9, which makes perfect editorial sense to put it on sale 2 weeks later. The final page is great though, maybe the best one Finch has done in the Johnsiverse.

Batman Incorporated #1: GMoz gives us a new title, which is effectively one he gave us before but Johnsiverse rebranded. If you liked it before, you'll like it now. But it thinks it's better than it is. It's not even the best Batbook being published any more. But it is GMoz. Actually, it feels like a retread of his previous work more than anything else but maybe that's just over-familiarity. I think I would rather have seen him do an Owls book.

GL:NG #9: GET ONE EDITOR. Remember how in Blue Beetle we saw Bleez and Glomulus on Earth when Kyle found out about the Blue Beetle suit guys invading the Blue Lantern Planet and flew off to save them? And remember how in Red Lantern the Red Battery is knackered and nobody is sure how they're going to recharge anything? Well imagine my surprise when in this book Kyle flies off to save the Blue Lantern Planet and pages other Lanterns on the way. Including Bleez on the Red Lantern Planet and Glomulous on the Orange Lantern Planet. Oh, and one of the Knights Who Say Nok who stopped being Lanterns in this month's Green Lantern. How hard is it to actually keep an eye on all these books and make sure they're coherent? I to read them all and I'm not the one being paid. Anyway, rubbish.

I, Vampire #9: The best issue in some considerable time. All the vampires are hiding in the desert in Utah, so some blokes go to Europe to get a secret army of vampire killers to bomb the shit out of them. In the mean time, after last month Andrew became the MOST POWERFUL VAMPIRE OF ALL TIME ALL TIEM EVER and Mary decided to go with him she is now bored and offers to fight him for the vampire army on the last page. Man, does she have a short memory. Still good stuff though.

Justice League Dark #9: New writer, new team members, same old crap. It's a dull old fetch quest, which leads into OH NOES WE KNOW WHERE THE BOOKS OF MAGIC MIGHT BE BUT WE HAVE PROMISED TO BRING THE MAP BACK. At one point Steve Trevor leaves Constantine's London flat (where his wife isn't, because he's only married in the Vertigo Universe) through the window. How is that 100 foot fall working out for you then Steve?

Superman #9: Pretty awful stuff all round. SEKRET SOVIETZ EXPERIMENTZ. Mistaken identity as someone else gets outed as the real secret identity of Superman! Lois books an expensive restaurant and expects Clark to pay! Hmm.

Teen Titans #9: Thankfully, this is the end of The Culling. Red Robin explains everything that's happened to date for people not reading all the books, and then a whole pile of stuff happens that means nothing to people not reading all the books. It's still the best of all these titles, and next month we get "the mystery of Mystery Island". Which seems to involve dinosaurs. Ace.

Flash #9: EFFORTLESSLY SUPERB. From the ultra-stylish splash page to throwaway pop culture references ("Maybe we're all dead and don't know it. Like in that old TV show where they all got lost..." "You mean Lost?" "I don't know, I don't watch much TV...") every page exudes joy. If Grodd is dealt with too quickly - and there's a reasonable argument he is, I could have easily read another couple of issues of him - next month we get Weather Wizard, and Pied Piper has been introduced (see my next post, once I've done the next three reviews). The Turtle can't be far away. NOT JUST FOR FANBOYS (ALTHOUGH IT HELPS).

Firestorm #9: The world of Firestorms is getting wearying, especially Captain Britain Firestorm. Oh look, they can merge together and form a TransformerStorm. The high point of this is when OMAC pulls the head off a Firestorm. Talk about damning with faint praise.

Hawkman #9: Swords on the cover can only mean one thing: The Liefeldening. While I think DiDio's Plan B is barking mad, you have to admire his faith in Rob. He gets to do plot and co-scripts here, two of his four worst skills (the other two being pencils and inks). To his credit, this is the best book he's produced this month, but it still isn't any good. I think we should start a book on how long he lasts.

Voodoo #9: One of the best issues in some time, although the writer hasn't been reading the core Superman books as Lord Helspont seems now to be in 19th century Mexico. It's obviously not Peru, because that's where Justice League Dark are at the moment. It's building to something, definitely. I'm betting it's cancellation.

Ravagers #1: Seriously, this is every bit as bad as you think it is. One character unzips her suit in the middle of an icefield where they'll freeze to death if they don't keep moving to expose her cleavage, presumably because she needs BEWBS to fly (which is what she does next). All against an angsty Fairchild dialogue of inner thoughts. Technically none of it is awful, but it's one of the most unreable Johnsiverse books.

Animal Man Annual #1: I have to say, as much as I enjoyed this it's an utterly, utterly pointless book. The talking cat tells Maxine a story while it has a piss, a tale of a previous Animal Man and a previous Swamp Thing, fighting a previous version of the Rot in a small town and not winning. Buddy turns up from the future in the story the cat's telling at one point to let them know they're going to fail. Then at the end they go back to a house and prepare for the next issue of Animal Man. It's nicely written and, after a very shakey start, the art's passable. But really, save your money.

Batman Annual #1: Taking place (in effect) during an OWLS crossover, Mr Freeze gets a Johnsiverse origin in this thoroughly decent 40 pager. He's clearly going to be important in Batbooks to come, as he's possibly the only villain that's had this kind of analysis thus far. It turns out the reason the OWLS were after him in the other book is that some of the surgery that's made their regenerative powers stable enough is based on his work, presumably making him the man who knew too much. I'm trying hard not to descend into hyperbole, but I genuinely can't think of a Batwriter that excites me as much as Scott Snyder. Yes, even BatMoz.