Month 11: The last week is always the hardest

All Star Western #11: In many ways, the direction ASW went in the post Jonah Hex era has entirely justified the reboot. The seamless integration of Hex and Arkham into Gotham's history has got us to where we are - the struggle between Owls and the Crime Bible for control. FIXING CONTINUITY ON EVERY PAGE. Plus how many comics do you know that have a panel titled "steam powered death machine"? Cracking stuff, and the Terrence Thirteen backup is probably the best extra yet. "This is the 19th century, for pity's sake!"

Aquaman #11: A confused mess, again. It's difficult to work out which of the two timelines this story is working in, particularly since the two teams are in the same location at different times. And the stuff you can actually work out is even more confused. Manta threatens to kill Mera, because the way he's going to fight her can only kill her. So when it appears he's beaten her, is she dead? The perceived link between Manta and Shin we saw at the end of the last issue has not only come to nothing, but it actually looks like the last issue was completely incorrect. This is such a frustrating book, as from time to time I love it but the rest of the time I struggle to finish pages. One mystical glowing widget and another mystical glowing widget triangulate to find a third mystical glowing widget that nobody knew existed, and nobody knew two could triangulate despite them having been kept together for ages. Just hurry up and destroy Atlantis again dude.

Batman Inc #3: OK, I know not everybody got this so I'll keep it as spoiler light as possible. Hats off to DC, I suppose, for reacting to public events but I have no idea why they've done what they've done. Presumably it's the last panel of page 1? This is pretty good, but you'll figure out the Matches story from one of the first panels and way before the reveal which I'm not sure you should be able to. There's double (and possibly triple) crosses, we find out what BatCow's been up to (eating hay, it seems) and we find out what Damian's capable of. But really, two simultaneous books with a bad entity called Leviathan in publication at the same time? That's just sloppy editing. Towers above most other issues this week yet still feels like it's treading water. I think Grant may well be right, maybe it is time for him to be done with hero books.

Batman the Dark Knight #11: Batman interrogates a cuddly toy called Ducky, who helps him find the Scarecrow. Yes, really. Now that's a film I would have watched. Secretly this is maybe my favourite Batbook that isn't Batman. David Finch has stopped doing the things he isn't good at, and concentrating on the things he is - like a genuinely creepy Scarecrow and weird anachronistic weapons. This is definitely worth your attention, although I'm not sure I'd recommend buying it.

Green Lantern #11: I wish I had read Blackest Night, because then I would know how unlikely this all is or what any of it means. The Knights That Say Nok take Hal out of Sinestro's control, and the bad buy from Blackest Night starts Blackest Night-ing all over again. He brings his parents a chinese takeout, which is an odd choice because everybody knows zombies prefer brains. Maybe you get brains in Coast City takeaways? Or is Coast City still destroyed? Does anyone care except Geoff Johns? At the end Sinestro reveals the current plot of GLC to Kyle as they stand in his batcave and then they open the Black Book of the Black Black and get sucked out to a suburban house to share the Black Hand's takeout with the corpses. I think Sinestro would have preferred KFC.

GL New Guardians #11: During this, Larfleeze manages to get all his constructs to hold off the entire army of all the other coloured Lanterns. Now maybe I'm missing something, but wouldn't that imply Orange is the strongest of all colours? Which makes you wonder why he needed the other ones to do his work killing Invictus. Even his little captive Guardian tuts at one point at how ludicrous this is. He gets defeated by his own jealousy at somebody else possibly having an Orange ring, but not before he's done what we've all wanted to do and klunked Rayner round the head with his lantern. All the colours then forget their natures and unite as a team after Glomulus is discorporated, and it turns out that the Guardian was the one plotting all along. NOT LIKE THAT'S EVER HAPPENED IN A GL BOOK BEFORE. The last page seems to imply the next issue is the final one, but it's not on the cancellation list so I'm not getting my hopes up.

I, Vampire #11: So the zombies may not be zombies, and it might just be a fashion statement as they're mummies in disguise. But then biting them just seems to make things worse - which is kind of tough when you're a vampire since biting is kind of your raison d'etre. Looks like Stormwatch are going to turn up to kill the vampire zombie vampire vampire killers. I'm sometimes not sure what happens in any two issues of this book are actually linked.

Justice League Dark #11: Felix Faust was just a diversionary part of the story which is really about persauding Tim Hunter to do magic again? Really? He fought the Justice League proper in the Silver Age. He's a big hitter. And here he is being beaten by a chick that talks backwards and Steve Trevor. Steve fscking Trevor man, a guy who doesn't want to have sex with a hott woman. The way they treat people's reputations in the Johnsiverse is weird. Anyway, Not Harry Potter has given up being a magic and sold his dove pan to Paul Daniels. I like this. Not a lot though.

Superman #11: Dan Jurgens' 80s obsession continues as Superman battles a Red Menace. Or rather an a;ien that the Russkies inadvertently brought to Earth in their attempts to pursue the super-arms race. Which is odd, because that implies they don't know that they've got a Firestorm. Maybe Dan just isn't reading that book. I don't blame him, I wish I wasn't.

Teen Titans #11: Wonder Girl seems to have stolen the Nth Metal armour now Rob Liefeld's thrown it out of Hawkman. There's a lot of chat about who's made out with who, leaving Bunker out in the cold (until Vibe turns up as a potential boyfriend in the near future) and Superboy turns down a definite shag because people are a bit vaccuous. Danny The Street seems to have a dinosaur fetish, as he couldn'tleave them all on Mystery Island or so it seems in the new backup. I'm not sure quite what makes this so good, but if it works then who cares.

Flash #11: A sort of nothing story as Barry's Rogues Gallery reconvenes. I'm still holding out for the Turtle though. When's he showing up, eh? The least good issue to date, but all the rest have been brilliant so it's not really a slight.

Firestorm #11: I can't tell whether SCORN is a baddie name or a sound effect, which can't be a good sign. Some of the Firestorms fight the cloned army of Islamic Firestorms while the other Firestorms look for the other other Firestorms. The main plot of this now seems to be what Warren Ellis did far, far better a few years ago in Supergod but I'm left wondering most while reading this why none of the other heroes on the planet have got involved in a war of this scope - especially since JLI were kind of part of the plot at one point. I think we should see more of the mix-amd-match Firestorm creation system when they merge randomly, as it's the only thing in the book we haven't seen 1000 times before. Turgid.

Hawkman #11: OH GOOD ANOTHER NEW ROB LIEFELD CHARACTER WITH SWORDS AND STUFF. Never mind though, Hawkman hates Catholics so he's able to beat him up easily. The issue then turns out to be circular, as we're back where we were before the issue took place in terms of plot. So it must be time for ANOTHER NEW ROB LIEFELD CHARACTER WITH POUCHES AND STUFF. It must be tiring being Rob. No wonder he can't draw feet, trying to keep all the AWESOME in your head must be an ongoing struggle. Well, either that or he can't draw very well. But then surely he wouldn't be a comics millionaire?

Voodoo #11: MAYBE SLIGHTLY INFLUENCED BY SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS. Voodoo has a fight with two giant statues while orcs and goblins fight Not Voodoo until she grows wings. She then catches her up and next month's final issue sees them battle for the One Flame To Rule The All And In The Darkness Bind Them. If it doesn't turn out to be a secret GL offshoot book I will be gutted, because you can't have enough of them now, can you?

Month 11: A week of nature study

Batwoman #11: Hooray! An issue of Batwoman that actually goes somewhere! And this feels like a proper conclusion to the Weeping Woman story too, what with the supernatural mystery being shown to be relatively mundane, some resolution in the Bette plot and a happy ever after (of sorts) for Kate. Yeah, Killer Croc is far to easily dealt with but I can just about forgive it. I'm not keen on the "...'s Story" page titlings either, but again I can live with it. But then the last page - "The Mother Of All Monsters". OI! WILLIAMS III! NOO! Enough with the mothers and daughters shoehorning into the plot. Who do you think you are, Gail Simone? I think my patience has run its course with this book - either it needs to be pretty, or good. I can live with either, but it's been neither for too long.

Birds of Prey #11: Well I sort of didn't expect that. Ivy is dying for unexplained reasons and being kept alive by her suit, which has been specially bio-engineered by Big Pharma. So she persuades the whole team to be environmental terrorists, to the point where (it appears) they're happy to execute CEOs of comapnies they don't like. Because the jungle poisoned them. Hmm. Anyway, Travel Foreman goes a long way here to prove that I was right about his art sucking - even with a different inker it's still awful, maybe even worse than it was on Animal Man. I mean, look, this is the shocked/outraged panel when our heroes find out they only have 6 months to live:

I'm not really sure why he's still in work if I'm honest. Then again, this is a company with Liefeld and JT Krul on the books.

Blue Beetle #11: Paco has turned into a giraffe in hospital. Or maybe there's another explanation for this:

Anyway, this all centres around a fight between Beetle and Booster Gold, which starts because Bettle accuses Booster of carrying out the plot of the 80s BG series. Which presumably he still did in the Johnsiverse, as he's still rich. We then get a "hilarious" commentary on how Mexicans supposedly think white people thinks about Mexicans in America, and Paco ends up turned into an alium at the end. Poor Paco. Nothing goes right for him. How's he going to find a nice girl to settle down with at this rate?

Captain Atom #11: Oh, JT Krul Paws. Human Captain Atom tries to get the woman whose hand Captain Atom Captain Atom burnt off turning her into One Handed Captain Atom to cheat on her boyfriend with him by drinking her milkshake, while Captain Atom Captain Atom is stuck in a glowing blue sphere being perved on by Steven Hawking. Captain Atom Captain Atom brings a dead woman back to life (you'd think he'd have learned from previous issues, but at least one of the lab assistants has read them) before letting Steven Hawking fly off into the void of space without a spacesuit. Except it seems like it was all in his mind, because he's dead on the floor. Human Captain Atom kisses One Handed Captain Atom, which makes Captain Atom Captain Atom jealous, so he burns down the laboratory. And if you think that was unreadable, don't go near the comic.

Catwoman #11: Catwoman has SURPRISE! BUTTSECKS! with a policeman while her boyfriend watches with binoculars, which turns him on so much they are going to do the sexing before the policeman hauls her away with a booty call. Dollhouse gets unmasked, there are a piles of diversions which makes it pretty hard to work out what's actually going on, but Policeman Booty ends up being kidnapped. Never mind, because next issues Batman resolves everything according to the blurb. Whose book is this again?

DCU Presents #11: Vandal Savage's daughter and a policeman's son who has been taking makeup tips from Kate Kane and Boston Brand discuss their daddy issues at length. Savage turns up and fights the boy, then his daughter shoots him through the head so she can talk through her issues herself. I'm being harsh, because James Robinson has done a good job here with characters he obviously loves. It's probably worth seeking out this story, as it's by far the best DCU Presents to date and a pretty good story in its own right, if a little wordy.

GLC #11: Oh God, I'd forgotten about the Alpha Lanterns. STOP INVENTING NEW THINGS. So, they torture Kilowog to tell them where John Stewart is - while we see him and Guy downstairs in the Guardians' Nazi Experiment Labs. Who'd have thought, all those DREAD FORCES FROM BEYOND TIME having been created down there in the ring foundry. But wait - because John Stewart is a GENIUS he manages to use all the failed experiments of an eternity's worth of Guardians into the perfect answer in a couple of minutes. Huzzah! But has it gone wrong? OH NOES!

Justice League #11: Batman manages to overcome the Superhero Sadface Sucker, because Batman thrives on his own Sadface (obviously) and so persuades everybody else to embrace their Sadface. The truth about Graves gets explained after he's told his Sadface story to Steve Trevor's sister, which when she tells Diana makes her all RARR RARR RARR like she's a Red Lantern or something and she kicks everyone's arses for them. But then she recovers and they all go off into the snow where they meet up with their Sadfaces for a nice cup of tea or something. Steve Trevor may or may not be dead, which may become a perpetual Sadface generator. Who knows. Or cares. The Shazam backup is finally getting somewhere, as Black Adam explains his part in the plot and Billy gets to the cave of the Wizard. Kimota!

LoSH #11: Some Legionaires save Brainiac and Dream Girl from the Dominators, which leads to a fight between Cosmic Boy and Mon-El as to why Mon-El didn't do it. Brainiac shows us some heretofore unseen and unknown powers, before being stabbed in the back by a traitor. This is kind of going round in circles, and is boring even me. Fix it soon, Levitz.

Nightwing #11: Hahahahahaha "Time to die!" and there's a clock hahahahahaha. Have a fight. There's more unintentional comedy later when a woman shows up complaining of "a problem dick" before admitting she is a "no dick" although she would "vote for yes dick". At least we get a reminder that Batman & Robin exists and should be impacting on other titles.

Red Hood #11: Wha? I feel like I've missed out about 10 issues. I have no idea what's going on here at all - what I thougt was a plane and featured Shadow Boobs Woman seems to have been an intergalactic spaceship flown by one of Starfire's underlings and a good Dominator, and taking place simulataneously in the past, present and future. Then K'tten turns up (possibly) in the end having been transformed into a battle cat or something. There's now also a backup story with Shadow Boob Woman that happens prior to issue 2. I think I need to reread all of these to make sense of this issue.

Supergirl #11: Wow. A penguin taking a piss and a lion shagging a zebra, and we're not even past page 1. And a mosque to represent either "brutality" or "diversity. Maybe both. Supergirl sucks her thumb in space on the second page. The comedy Oirish girl now has a comedy Oirish brother to double the hilarity. Iron Man's Extremis suit shows up to break up Kara's pizza date with Oirish Boy, but not before she's ruined it for herself because (perhaps unsurprisingly) New York pizza makes her sick. She decides she's better off on her own and with a Byrnian supporting cast like she has I think that's for the best.

Wonder Woman #11: Justice League Wonder take Zola to the doctor so he can do a pre-natal but, as ever, SOME GREEK GODS TURN UP AND SPOIL IT. There's a long scrap, but the mystery of why Zola's baby is quite so important and why all the other Gods are against it remains. Looks like we have a war in Olympus next month. Despite that looking like a complaint, the pacing in this title is perfect with just enough revealed every month to keep you on the hook. Azzarello's best ever run on a comic.

Month 11: last of the catching up

Action #11: OK, so now I'm even less sure where GMoz is going with this. We start off with Clark killed off as working as a fireman. We end with Lois dead and Wonder Tot being taken away by X-Ray from the U-Men? Or is the same book that was previously for comics geeks interested in obscure comics trivia now supposed to not see stuff that's clearly... erm... influenced by other obscure comics trivia? "Nutants"? Really? There's a core plot working at the heart of this but there's too much else going on for it to be engaging. I guess GMoz really said all he had to say about Superman in ASS and this is just the equivalent of a deleted scenes feature on a DVD. You can see what it's trying to do, but it's inessential. Poor old Solly Fisch adds yet another soul-destroying contractual page-filler. I'd like to think I would have more self-respect.

Animal Man #11: Having ended last the last issue (and starting this one) with the reshaping aliens made most famous during the GMoz era, they turn him into the Animal Man of the Jamie Delano era. This kind of works, but I suspect it will be as tenable as his Vertigo run ended up being. I know I've griped about it since the start, but the art team of Alberto Ponticelli and Wayne Faucher are possibly the worst yet. They work fine for the horror sections but are really bad the rest of the time, and for a book largely set there it really affects the treadability of it. It's leading (again) into a Swamp Thing crossover and this time I hope it doesn't make it out. There's nothing here that can't be said in the margins of other books - the entire plot of this could have been dealt with in less than 5 pages - and from a selfish aspect I could do with reading less.

Batwing #11: Oh yes, the one with Long. Which is Chinese for dragon. AND IS A DRAGON. And is then completely forgotten about as Batwing and Nightwing run away to fight another, different baddie on another continent (but not before going to a third different one and sending Batman an I WUB YOU email so he can kiss the Penguin. Is there oil in Africa? WHO CARES. Utterly pointless.

Detective #11: Tony Daniel's time on the book is coming to an end, and truth to tell it's beginning to show. This feels like a tossed-off Norm Breyfogle effort, with a bad guy supposed to be much more threatening than he is and dialogue and exposition in place of plot development. I'm completely ambivalent about the title to be honest - I would love for it to be great but the heart has gone from the writing and it's just pedestrian. The backup is once more the highlight, but is still a procedural crime book - albeit with a significant noir aspect. I'd much prefer to see that being the main book, which is pretty damning.

Dial H #3: It had to happen eventually. Dial H goes from BEST THING EVER to merely being bloody great. We get much more development in the story of the dials, in how they work, in who the bad guys we thought were the bad guys are and who the AHA YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING bad guys actually might be. Still a rampaging success, this title continues to be everything I hoped it would be.

Earth 2 #3: Well, I didn't see that coming. Yes, we'd assumed Alan Scott was going to be Green Lantern, but he's the Earth-2 version of Swamp Thing? And Solomon Grundy is champion of the Grey, which is the Earth-2 version of The Rot? I think they might have bitten off more than they can chew starting off with that as a plot, but let's see where it goes... the Jay Garrick/Hawkgirl stuff is entertaining enough in a 'hero tests powers' way, but it's the Alan Scott stuff that will have me coming back next month.

GI Combat #3: Ah, JT Krul. You really are useless. "NO!" says the last panel, in the best bit of dialogue. Sums up my thoughts. Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti's Unknown Soldier backup is the Punisher by Howard Chaykin. I'll let you make your own minds up as to whether you think that's a good thing or not but I think you know where my sympathies lie.

Green Arrow #11: Ann Nocenti takes some stuff she read on a right wing blog slagging off the Occupy movement and makes them into bad guys for the billionaire Green Arrow to beat up. I wish I was kidding.

Justice League #11: on the splash title page we find out "the man is preachin' truth". Then that people work for "the Man". It then lurches from the 80s to the 90s as our heroes kill the bad guys. How gritty. It ends next month, I think? With a Johnsiverse changing revelation. The mind boggles.

Red Lanterns #11: The Star Sapphires try and save the female Red Lanterns, presumably because they think Bleez will look hotter in their costume. Guy Gardner tries to rebuild their battery to save the rest. Everybody else goes RARRRRRRRRRRRRR. It gets rebooted next month, it seems. Wouldn't it be easier to just cancel it?

Stormwatch #11: I think I need to read this again. There's an awful lot going on, and it all seems to be connected to the Engineer (for whom we get an origin story of sorts) and links to the Planetary device(s) from last month. Possibly the most accomplished issue in some time, but I get the feeling Pete Milligan's other books have sickened me to him. I may update this later.

Swamp Thing #11: Great stuff, but if I'm being picky then at heart it's just a punching fite between Swampy and Arcane no matter how beautiful it is. Then Animal Man turns up, to lead into the next issue of AM. Which would be fine, if the last issue of AM didn't end on a cliffhanger (no pun intended) which isn't resolved here. And presumably won't be resolved in the next AM. Honestly, I thought the point of having the same writer on these was so this wouldn't happen?

World's Finest #3: The present day stuff in this still isn't much cop, but the Kev Maguire illustrated flashbacks are a lot of fun. And hey, we get Power Girl's costume recast as a cocktail dress. Inoffensive stuff, which is probably just about worth reading.

Batgirl #11: For once a structured and balanced issue from Gail Simone as she winds back all her fake teen bullshit and her OMG WIMMIN ARE STRONG DYS nonsense (although, again, all the characters are women including the hint at the SPOILER at the end - which is a pretty high success rate because if SPOILER is who we're meant to think it is then it's the only other female option out of a field of at least a dozen. Does that make it more or less sexist?) and we get a decently paced issue that explores the Knightfall character and the policewoman that helps Babs out. But wait! If she's fighting crime, who's saving her roomie from James Gordon? OH NOES! It's ok though, he just wants to give her a cat. He's a nice boy really.

Batman #11: Scott Snyder finally wraps up Owls by exploring the Thomas Wayne Jr story (in the middle of a great, deranged fight) and we're left with the final question which is now torturing Bruce. Is it true? Or is it just another last play of the hand by the Owls in trying to tip him over the edge? It feels odd saying it about one of the New 52 titles, but people will look back on this as one of the great Bat-arcs, I'm sure. Buy or borrow the inevitable trade and see if I'm wrong. If you hate it, I might even refund you (but don't hold your breath on that one).

Batman & Robin #11: Peter Tomasi introduces Terminus; a character who, if I didn't know better, was a thinly disguised attempt at making a Bane that ties in more with the forthcoming film - he even gets called a terrorist to ram the point home. It's a shame, because I'm really warming to the psycho-Robin trying to prove to the other ex-Robins that he's the best one and I kind of wish the plot would stick to that. But whatever, it's well executed and worth yer bucks.

Deathstroke #11: is not worth yer bucks. It's Liefeld all the way, although knees appear to be his weakness this month and not feet. All the other stereotypes are there though - badly-held sword with bendy blades, ill-conceived guns, poor perspective, cankles, people standing at different heights, relative size of objects changing... Lobo's biggest sin seems to be selling the Lorax into slavery, although the highlight for me is when his spaceship starts its self-destruct sequence by ejecting a 3 1/2" floppy disk. I'm assuming SOMEBODY except DiDio and Liefeld like this, but I'm at a loss who they might be.

Demon Knights #11: A fine issue, as usual, with the comedy relief of Vandal Savage firmly breaking any grim 'n' gritty pretences - although al Jabr becoming MODOK had pretty much done for that anyway. The plot continues on, King Arthur has to destroy Glastonbury Tor and Morgaine shows her hand, but I suspect most people are reading this for the characterisation and interaction rather than anything else.

Frankenstein #11: Matt Kinot has watched The Prisoner. This issue does not make me happy.

Grifter #11: Having said that, it makes me happier than Grifter. Where Liefeld has turned him into some "Jedi-dude" who is reall the chosen one of the Daemonites. Helpfully for arch Liefeld-biter Marat Michaels, Rob writes a chick in a swimsuit who can be the undercover baddie so he can show off his art skills. Not so helpfully for us, this is a bag of shit from start to finish.

Legion Lost #11: This week's idgi phrase is "Dawnstar... or Pawnstar?!!?!!?!" WTF? Is it supposed to be a pun on pornstar? If so, are we going to see the plot from THAT John Byrne Superman strip again? Or is she going to open a shop in Las Vegas with a pile of overweight and stupid relatives? Or is she just going to be used as a pawn, and you thought it would be a cool made up word? IT ISN'T.

Resurrection Man #11: There's a big fight in The Lab, which is a cloaked tower in a cola factory, and we end up going through the same motions as issue 2. Literally, with exactly the same people and the same outcome. Going round in circles inside a year isn't a good look and shows a severe lack of initiative.

Suicide Squad #11: It gets mentioned again here, but we never did find out how King Shark got to be clever, did we? Anyway, another well-written and plotted issue sees the first traitor blow up the plane the Squad are on, making Waller think they're dead. So... they get a little sloppy and might end up being sacrificed to the Mayan gods. No fair! I want to find out who the other traitor is! Come back next month to find out, or watch them all die in a tasty way.

Superboy #11: Unsure how I feel about this issue. Lots of good bits - Bunker taking Superboy away for a tattoo (although how does it work with indestructible skin?), Superboy having taken all N.O.W.H.E.R.E.'s money - but the bad guy is a bit Sadface once he's half-beaten, not that Superboy cares as he just punches him into bits. So, not a coherent 20 pages then. I could be persuaded into thinking it was good, I'm sure.

Ravagers #3: Brother Blood is back. He's not very good. He's the best thing in this book.

Month 10: pass the nurofen

Action #10: I'm afraid I can't put it any better than James' observation above.

Action is so frustrating. It feels like reading random back issues of a series that would be great if you had ALL the parts and could read them in the right order.

So Superman was simultaneously in the home-made costume and the JLA costume (from the hamsters)? There was a Superman before Superman (Lois' scrapbook)? And quite how they're going to work around Clark being dead, since he isn't in any of the other books, I have no idea. The best guess I can offer is that the GMoz Supes is maybe an early attempt at a N.O.W.H.E.R.E. Superboy. Mind you, I really got a kick out of DC's version of Kraven The Hunter being, frankly, shit at it. I'm not sure why I'm sticking with this.

Animal Man #10: This is a frustrating read as well, if I'm honest. It's well enough written, and the art is growing on me, but the pace is glacial and anybody who's familiar with the GMoz/Vertigo Animal Man and Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing has read all of this before. The journey through the Red is like the Hell issues of the American Gothic plot. The architects of all life are going to build Buddy a new body because he/they has/have issues with the current one. Cliff is a gullible dick. I guess I just don't feel like I need to read it. Maybe it's just me, I dunno. The Johnsiverse was supposed to be for new readers, so I guess it'd be a novelty for them. If they actually existed.

Batwing #10: From a frustrating read to a plain boring one. Now all the initial plot is over, and Batwing isn't Owlsing, it's just a very low grade Batfamily book with OH LOOK AFRICA thrown in every now and again. Somali pirates - check! Nightwing expresses surprise Africans know a lot about technology - check! Corrupt deals by dodgy dictators with Western oil companies - check! My favourite bit is where the Chinese guy turns up at the apartment of the kidnapped Chinese guy (who is not drawn as Chinese btw) and immediately turns into a dragon. He then (i.e. AFTER HE'S TURNED INTO A DRAGON) bellows "But please... let me introduce myself. My name is... Long! Do you know what Long means in Chinese? It means dragon!" in a menacing way. Now THAT'S dialogue.

Detective #10: And post-Owls, this is merely a very good one. (As a diversion, wikipedia tells me that the Batman Annual was supposed to conclude the Owls. REALLY? I didn't get that at all from it...) Tony Daniels brings back his Mr Toxic character we saw as a bit-part player in the Penguin floating casino plot but increases his menace considerably. I get the feeling exploding faux-Batmen is a gimmick that's been overused previously, but I'm happy enough to read it again. The Two-Face backup is great though. Reborn as a hero? I can't wait to read the next part.

Dial H #2: Effortless proving last month wasn't a fluke, China Mieville once more writes EXACTLY the sort of book I want to read. The concept of a guy who changes powers each time plays to his strength and I laugh out loud at least twice during this. There are insane levels of thrill power within. Unbelievable.

Earth 2 #2: OK, outside of the Allan Scott reveal what do we actually have here? A JSA origin issue, in a post-Justice League world? Mr Terrific is shoehorned in, and absolute needless, but the Jay Garrick story is pretty engaging and I think this title could have legs if it canmake itself different enough from the other books. Ultimately I don't think it will, but it's decent enough to make me want to hang about for a while to see. I could well be tempted to say it's better than Justice League. We'll see.

GI Combat #2: JT Krul writes dialogue this issue, so the War That Time Forgot segment is predictably shit. The Unknown Soldier stuff is far better, but is neither better nor worse than any of the other attempts at it in recent years. Can't see it lasting any longer than the next wave of cancellations, if I'm honest, as I have no idea what it's for or who it's supposed to appeal to. Ho hum.

Green Arrow #10: WOW, THIS IS SHIT. I mean REALLY shit. Ann Nocenti writes a story here that's completely mired in eighties DO YOU SEE isms, and truthfully it would have been shit then too. It makes the lyrics to Human by the Killers seem like an essay by Kierkegaard. Abject.

JLI #10: Dan Jurgens isn't actually reading any of the other books in the relaunch, right? He's just bumbling on in his own little universe writing something nobody wants to read, unconnected to anything else being published. And make no mistake, this is dreadful stuff - as eighties as Green Arrow but in a different way, full of implied importance but empty and soulless. Cancelled after two more issues, but might end up forming the cornerstone of Year 2 of the Johnsiverse, if the rumours are right. I'm scared.

Red Lanterns #10: RARR RARR RARR RARR OH FUCK OFF. Well not quite, this Stormwatch crossover is at least a vaguely coherent story but they're no closer to finding a new power source since their battery was destroyed and it's been an awful long time for them to be maintaining force fields and the like. It seems like it's given up Lantern logic altogether. Geoff Johns will no doubt be round to give Peter Milligan a punishment essay later, and maybe put him in detention.

Stormwatch #10: I say Stormwatch crossover, they're off doing something completely different. This feels like it wants to be an issue of Planetary. It isn't. It talks about Napoleonic Stormwatch and how they erased the memory of all the world so it forgot they existed, then ends with a gay-angst-a-thon. The next issue blurb convinces me it thinks it is Planetary. It won't be.

Swamp Thing #10: Anton Arcane being back delivers pretty much all you'd expect it to. It's basically a monologue by him, but Scott Snyder's on a roll at the moment and everything he touches is golden. Having been teased at the end of the last issue, and despite being on the cover, Arcane's presence builds throughout until the final page release. "I promise your pain will only last a little longer. In just a moment I'm going to bash your head in." Looks awful written here, but in context is perfect. A great book.

World's Finest #2: Still feels like two books. The Kev Maguire drawn flashback stuff and the George Perez modern day stuff are almost completely separate, and one is fun and engaging while the other is a chore. I wonder if you can guess which is which? Answers on a postcard, with a subscription to a Rob Liefeld book of your choice to the winner.

Batgirl #10: Ugh. This series gets worse with every passing issue, and it didn't start from a particularly high beginning. It's hackneyed WOW STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN bullshit page on page at the expense of storylines. It might work for people studying Lipstick Feminism 101 but does nothing for me. This particular issue feels like everybody in charge at every stage HAS to be a woman to prove a point that I don't get, although it never gets worse than when the guy who lost half his leg the night before runs away normally.

Batman #10: Umm. Wow. The Lincoln March revelation is indeed a revelation. Didn't see that coming at all. But you're all reading the book already, so I don't need to go into it or spoil it for those that haven't read it yet. The backup story actually works with it and reveals even more - if you read them in the other order, and knew some fairly obscure bat-history, then it would spoiler the main story. Great stuff.

Batman & Robin #10: Damian has an ego. Who knew? Basically, he calls out all the other Robins to prove he's great and Tim Drake is an easy fish to catch. It's good stuff , if not really anything out of the ordinary, but hits the spot before the shitfest to come. Starting with...

Deathstroke #10: There are no words. Honestly. So bad. I can't work out whether the art is worse than the writing and every page my opinion changes. This may well be the single worst issue of the Johnsiverse. If any of you can find a way to read it without paying for it LIKE BORROWING IT FROM A LIBRARY OR SUCH <cough> RIAA <cough> then I recommend you do so, just to see for yourselves how bad it is.

Demon Knights #10: "It's a pirate sea serpent! That is something I have never shouted before!" And not something I expected to be typing. This does the thing it does every month again, and very well it does it too. They travel through the south of England facing giant wolves and a zombie King Arthur and conclude with al Jabr turning into MODOK. That's something else I expected not to be typing.

Frankenstein #10: I still don't like this. This particular issue is more of a mess than usual, although it thinks it's being really clever and all GMozzy. Who's on whose side by the end? Who cares?

Green Lantern #10: The Knights The Say Nok don't exist, then a blue woman gets superhero sadface and cries a single tear, which is enough sadface for them to rebuild their entire power battery and all say Nok again. Unfortunately for Hal this makes Sinestro one of them too, so he tries to persuade them to let him say other words too by saying how much he wubs him. A Black Lantern kills himself rather than say Nok again, then once he's dead becomes a Black Lantern again. As you do. I struggle to believe people take this seriously.

Grifter #10: Amongst the skills Rob Liefeld doesn't have we've found another one - counting. "The word you're looking for is "You're welcome. Although technically that's two words." No, that's ACTUALLY two and TECHNICALLY three. That is as entertaining as this issue gets. Grifter now has telekinetic powers, which is presumably how his friend's costume stays up.

Legion Lost #10: The Legion go back to their own time, find that it needs a bit of redecorating and come back to our time to buy some paint or something. The lustre has totally gone from this book, despite having a couple of my favourite Legionnaires in it and it's become a chore to read. Timber Wolf gets shot at the end, although he probably won't have been by the time the next issue is three pages old.

Ravagers #2: Hoo boy, this is bad. Luckily I have already erased reading it from my mind so I don't need to go into it any further but it's just awful throughout. Don't bother.

Resurrection Man #10: It's so obvious now they're both out, but this is Dial H's crappy little brother. If only it was anywhere near as good. Or good, period. The angels from the early issues are back, and get what Hulk would called SMASHED. There's a secret giant underground technology base and... some other stuff. I don't care enough to try and make sense of this book any more.

Suicide Squad #10: The usual quality product here. Harley is back (although I thought from where we left her she was gone for good for other reasons) and so is Yo-Yo, having been shat out by King Shark and grown himself a new body. But somebody somewhere isn't playing ball with The Wall. Who can it be? Maybe we'll find out next month.

Superboy #10: SUPERBOY PUNCHES A DINOSAUR! In other news there is a hint ot teen romance between him and Wonder Girl then BANG! SMACK IN THE KISSER! This is a really good issue, no messing.

Batwoman #10: This really isn't getting much better, is it? The diversion about the dying cat is good, but isn't it lifted straight from a Gmoz thing? He does it in Animal Man #26, and also somewhere need the end of The Filth (I think?). But the layouts are really nice, and the escalation in Killer Croc's powers could be interesting - although merging him with Sobek is a new idea which could screw up Geoff Johns' future work on Captain Marvel. I enjoyed this more than any of maybe the previous three or four, but that's not saying a hell of a lot.

Birds of Prey #10: So... new costumes, new faces, Ivy needs planted in a giant Gro-bag and Batman has a grump on. Just another normal issue then. And on the plus side I've now also learned that such a thing as liquid cocaine exists, and that adding water makes something inert very explosive. Which clearly makes the whole venture worthwhile.

Blue Beetle #10: With the whole Ravagers/NOWHERE axis bleeding the will out of us, the last thing we need is another "teenager imprisoned by the government doing experiments on him" book. I tell a lie, the last thing we need is one as badly written as this. The Mexican slang is back, the casual racism of Hispanics having grandmothers that are old battleaxes, the sinister boss and the dumb employees. Hackneyed rubbish.

Captain Atom #10: I know I've said before that I don't have the words, but this is just... the giant lion's mouth of God is about to eat Captain Atom so he and all the other Captain Atom's that he finds in the time stream decide to fight it, then our Captain Atom flies throughout time and sees that if he didn't become Captain Atom then Grodd would instead so he doesn't make the cancer go away that he did in #4(? needs a Fact-Checkin' Ed) and the person dies in the future, which then lets him absorb all the other Captain Atoms and the giant mouth and become Captain Atom. Then he goes back to see Steven Hawking who tells him where the woman with one hand he fancies is. Once he gets there he changes himslef into Doctor Manhattan and Hal Jordan to go on a date with her. Apparently next issue this does not end well. Maybe their panna cotta will be a bit too set for their tastes.

Catwoman #10: None of you are reading this, right? So if I say the only good thing is Catwoman's latest Hispanic (?) fuckbuddy being a plant for some mobsters I'm not spoiling anything for anybody? The Dollhouse plot is an inferior version of the Russian prostitutes plot from the previous run, or even from the Punisher plot which was similar. The book is treading water so hard, I really just think the best thing for it is to get a crippling cramp and sink like a stone.

DCU Presents: The plot plods along in James Robinson's Vandal Savage book, which makes it 1000x better than any of the other books this week. This is the week I think I hate more that the others. WW is the only decent title, although at least Legion, Nightwing and Red Hood are readable. Anyway, Savage has a copycat killer. In a plot COMPLETELY UNLIKE Silence of the Lambs, the authorities want Savage to help. He does, then escapes. Ho hum. I bet it'll have a really straightforward conclusion next month.

GLC #10: John Stewart is to be executed by the Alpha Lanterns for killing a Green Lantern. Guy doesn't like the idea, so after 20 pages of sadface he busts him out, only for JS to still be all sadface and the Alpha Lanterns shut down the power battery so the GLs can't fight. 2 pages of this are worth reading.

LoSH #10: A small part of Dominators stuff does not make this good. Apart from that it is a fine nostalgiafest, Nostalgia is not necessarily good, as I have learned month on month during this.

Nightwing #10: Kind of procedural, kind of sadface, kind of bollocks. Immaterial to how I feel about anything tbh,

Red Hood #10: Maybe the shortest issue at 16 pages this month. Still probably fails in the "least anount of plot" title for DC. Nothing really happens and that which does is utterly inconsequental. Someone from a planet which doesn't exist comes to see Starfire, after which we find out they couldn't have existed. Oh well

Supergirl #10: JOHN BYRNE IS THE GREATEST WRITER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF COMICS EVER EVER EVER.

He's not? Yeah, I had worked that out after reading this.

Wonder Woman #10: AT LAST, SOMETHING WORTH READING. The reality is, THIS IS AT LEAST AS GOOD, IF NOT BETTER THAN EVERY BOOK PRECEDING IT. If I had to describe WW I would say it is the best parts of Hellblazer, Fables and Gravel combined; let alone lesser things. You should really all be getting this, even if it's only in trades. LOVE IT.

All Star Western #10: Just when you thought OWLS were over, ASW is mining the early(?) days of the Court dealing their infiltration into the asylum amongst other shenanigans in Gotham. This issue hits it out of the park once more although I suspect, as with the Jonah Hex book before it, that I'm alone in my love for it. Hex becomes a more rounded and developed character issue by issue, to the point where he's more believable than at any time in his history, but then you add in the Arkham characters and it's packed to the rafters with quality. Throw in a great little Bat Lash backup and I'll pay for this any day of the week.

Aquaman #10: This issue - in fact, this whole plot - seems to have been a slow build to the last couple of panels. It turns out Manta and Shin know each other and that's what this is all about. Yes, along the way we find out how the relationship between Aquaman and Manta works in the Johnsiverse, but primarily it's about the two of them punching each other a step at a time closer to Shin. Dull.

The Dark Knight #10: In which the Johnsiverse Scarecrow makes his entrance. And I'll tell you what, this looks like it's building to one of the most deranged versions of the character we've seen in a while. In other news, Bruce's fuckbuddy dumps him because he'd rather sit in a cave with a small boy than listen to her practice piano. Personally, I think she's got her priorities wrong. Frankly, she's not that hot (although lolFinch, she might be supposed to be) and doesn't seem to be that good at the piano.

Batman Inc #2: GMoz effortlessly shows everyone else how it's done this month, albeit going over old ground (for him) this is Talia's version of events leading up to the Damian reveal. I'm not enough of a Batfan to know whether anyone else has ever dealt with her in this depth, but GMoz clearly isn't done with her and she could well end up being the focus of the book. Good, say I, as she's dynamite in his hands.

GL: New Guardians #10: So,Kyle and his mates finally realise Larfleeze has been playing them like haddies all along. The rest of us worked that out six months ago. There are two things I love about this issue: firstly, it's great that the characters in the story are as confused about what's going on as the rest of us. They need reminded who's in and who's not every month - when people left, what happened to them, and what issues they crossed over into. Secondly, in the last panel we get our first PROPER Superhero sadface of the Johnsiverse when a Blue Lantern starts crying. I'm amazed it's taken 10 months but welcome back guys, we've missed you.

I, Vampire #10: Tighter than any of the previous issues, this one actually makes me remember why I liked this in the first place. All the world's vampires are in the one place. So what do you do if you're in charge of them? Send for the vampire killers, obviously. Who turn into zombies at the end. A welcome breath of humour lifts this from being the emo sadface nonsense of previous months into something I want to read.

Justice League Dark #10: Hooray! The return of Abnegazer, Rath and Ghast! Although they're clearly the most exciting thing about it. Team book standing about squabbling is not what the title should be doing, but it ends up mired in it when it should be exploiting a sound cast and the ability to exist outside of, or at least parallel to, the Johnsiverse but instead is mired in soap opera about how Zootanapus wubs Constantine but he's sometimes a bit nasty to her. You don't know the worst part love, he's probably married (since he is in the Vertigo universe). Not using its potential at all.

Justice League #10: Johns has outdone himself here. He's created a villain who, wait for it... IS POWERED BY SUPERHERO SADFACE. That's, like, Johns cubed or something. All we need is an ancient foe from the beginning of time and we'll have a full set. What? He was given the powers by mysterious aliens from the beginning of time? DING DING DING DING DING The Shazam backup finally seems to be going somewhere, but the Black Adam reveal would have been more effective if he hadn't turned up in a different book already.

Superman #10: Having thought Justice League had done it all, Superman goes one stage further in having a villain GIVEN POWERS BY EMOTIONAL ABUSE AS A CHILD. Her power? To make herself FEEL NOTHING. DYS ETC ETC Highpoint of this issue is midway through where Jimmy has a woman's hairdo on the first panel and then bukkake aftermath on his face in the next one. Superman's "friend", eh?

Teen Titans #10: A blast, as usual. Kid Flash is still my favourite, he's the Spider-man it's OK to like. The dinosaurs are over, although they were never much more than a diversion to settle the core team and do some relationship building. Poor Danny The Street, ;_;

Firestorm #10: Another month, another new Firestorm. Seriously, is there a country that doesn't have one? Am I going to wake up tomorrow and realise I'm Britain's Nuclear Man? I hope not. I didn't care for the 80s much. I have absolutely no idea where this is going, and care where it's going even less. Turgid stuff.

Hawkman #10: Now THAT'S a Liefeld cover. Grimace? Check. Multiple lens flare? Check. Unlikely reflection? Check. Blades which bear no relation to the hand using them? Check. Chest parallel to the ground? Check. SLICE is my new favourite sound effect. Anyway, in the brave new world after the Liefeldening there is no plot, just FITE AFTER FITE. A guy turns up in the last panel with pouches, two swords strapped to his arms and a blade strapped to his leg that would make it impossible to walk, His legs are two different lengths and are narrower than his arms. Goold old Rob, gave us the full house at the death there.

Flash #10: Kind of a minor issue, this one, as there is only really a bit of a scuffle with the Weather Wizard and some Rogues plotting. Oh, and Barry decides he's not going to tell the woman he loves - no, not Iris, she's still lost in time - that he's not dead. Despite this, still one of the highlights of the Johnsiverse.

Voodoo #10: Much as I like seeing Daemonites pulled apart by giant stone statues, I'm still not feeling this at all. I might have to have a re-read because I'm certain this is much better than the previous months but I have nothing to base that on.

Month 9: pregnancies are less painful and at least you get a baby at the end

Action #9: The main feature here is much more like we expect from GMoz, but for me Gene Ha's art is so overwhelming I just feel like I'm reading Top 10. It takes place on an alternate Earth, and sees a visit from a yet further Earth which (as you'd expect) doesn't go well for anybody. A return to form then, but you can see why it was delayed so that all the alternate Earth stuff starts at the same time. DID SUPERBOY PUNCH THE UNIVERSE FOR NOTHING? Hulk should have done it instead. WHEN HULK PUNCH UNIVERSE, UNIVERSE STAY PUNCHED. Solly Fisch's take on the Qurac of Earth 23 seems to be ruled by Borat. Oh well.

Animal Man #9: Wahey! It's Dallas' Pam & Bobby plot all over again. THE GMOZ ERA OF ANIMAL MAN WAS ALL A DREAM. The change to Steve Pugh throughout improves the book for me immensely, but there are still panels I hate (such as Buddy flying). Ellen has decided she's had enough and is leaving Buddy, despite what Maxine and the talking cat say. Buddy is possessed by The Rot, while simultaneously fighting The Rot in The Red. Constantine shows up at the end to explain it to Ellen, while Cliff wants his dad to join the Justice League so they can have a cool house. DOESN'T HE READ COMICS? DOESN'T HE REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME HIS DAD JOINED THE JUSTICE LEAGUE? There's no telling some people.

Batwing #9: Batwing goes to a fancy dinner, where the Owls try to kill Lucius Fox. He stops making sexy xhit-chat with girlies and being disgusted by Heads of State just long enough to put on his suit, when he learns the same things we've known about the Owls for weeks now over about 1/3 of the pages. He beats the Owl by exploding his arms off, then punches a Prime Minister. There are worse books than this out thre.

Detective #9: MORE OWLS. Some have come for Jeremiah Arkham, but Bats has followed them and uses Arkham's plan of using the Black Mask to get them for him by getting everybody else (including Clayface) to get them for him. In some ways typical Bat fodder, and I hope there aren't more Owls books this simplistic, but it'll do for now. The ongoing Two Face backup is great stuff though, closer to police procedural than anything else, and is the real reason for buying this month on month. Sorry Owls.

Dial H #1: As a massive fan of China Mieville's books, I was avidly waiting this since it was announced and damn it all if this isn't some of the most fun I've had since... whenever. Instantly witty, inventive and engaging; this is like the distillation of the things we thought were brilliant about GMoz's Doom Patrol and made better. This is the comic that Warren Ellis thinks he writes when he puts pen to paper. DO NOT MISS.

Earth 2 #1: I have to say, I'm not really sure what this book is for. Parademons overwhelm Metropolis but Batman sacrifices himself to wipe them out and save his daughter Helena (who will undoubtedly become the Huntress but is currently dressed as Robin). Superman is overwhelmed and killed, leaving Supergirl to escape through a Boom Tube with Robin to the first issue of World's Finest (but more on that later). Wonder Woman is stabbed through the chest and dies, but not before her shiny friend Mercury escapes and eventually happens across Jay Garrick, who becomes Flash next month. As a framing narrative it hangs together fine, but I have no idea where the clamour is for this book at all, other than to give James Robinson (for it is he) a sandbox to play in. He must have a really complicated contract because although I love The Shade book that's currently running I think I'm the only one that's actually buying it.

GI Combat #1: This is an old trick, just renaming a book, surely? And while it might have worked in the days when books were available on every newsstand and sold pretty much irrespective of the content, in these more picky days it's hard to see how rebranding Men of War is actually going to work, although this is supposed to focus on DC's old Weird War books rather than Sgt Rock so who knows. Starting with The War That Time Forgot is a good start, and picking up Unknown Soldier (which has always been a solid book) isn't bad either. Unfortunately giving it to JT Krul is a baffling decision. The art of Ariel Olivetti rescues it to a large degree and once we get free of dialogue (only the first couple of pages have actual real speaking on them) it's quite easy to just glide along with the images perfectly well. Gray and Palmiotti deliver yet another new take on the Unknown Soldier and those familiar with their work elsewhere won't be surprised that they handle the tale of a facially scarred war veteran killing for vengeance and bounties with style. Dump yer man Krul and this could be a winner.

Green Arrow #9: Ann Nocenti has, frankly, turned Green Arrow into unreadable crap (and we all know who was writing this before, so that's some claim). The conclusion to the sexy triplets story takes in kidnapped polar bears, gold mining in the Old West, paralysis drugs to heighten sexy fun times, muskrats, eskimos, genetic manipulation and helicopters. Even once you take breath, you still realise it's rubbish. Could it ever be good again? Who knows?

JLI #9: OMAC shows up looking for Batman, which he does with his fists. Guy Gardner dresses up as Iron Man to punch him, and calls him a fish a lot. Once they all make friends in the sewer they fly to Paris to eat some cheese, drink some wine, see the sights, maybe a little love will bloom... nope. The Firestorms have shown up and I suspect there's going to be a FITE soon. It's not very good, this.

Red Lanterns #9: Or, as the cover says, the DEAD Lantern Corps. DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. So, this issue seems to take place simultaneously before, during and after itself. Bleez at one point refers to GL:NG, then a couple of panels later has no knowledge of it. Still, let's just go RARRR RARRR GNNNN RAGE RAGE GNNN for a bit instead of plot. At the end, Atrocitus' cat Dex-starr (which was ripped to death in #1) is back. Good, that's bound to help.

Stormwatch #9: Some guy turns up in Rome who seems to think he's already in Stormwatch and gets sucked away to the Carrier to explain. Not Batman and Not Superman go to Devon where they fight one of the Red Lanterns, but it must be summer because it's too cloudy for Not Superman's sun-related powers to work properly. So Not Batman cuts his ring arm off. He goes back to the Carrier for some deep probing. Meanwhile the Renaissance Roman escapes until Not Batman kills him, at which point the Red Ring decides he's GNNNN RAGE RAGE quality but is stopped from making his finger all pretty by the Engineer. Not Batman then has a lovely daydream about how nice it would be to be Batman, but he likes killing people too much to give it up. Best issue of this in 6 months.

Swamp Thing #9: Last issue's cliffhanger of sorts is dispatched with during this well-paced issue which is never less than beautiful. In many ways a successor to the Rite of Spring, Alec talks Abby out of being Queen of the Rot by reminding how how much he loves her, how he changes peaches to the way she likes them, the way foxfire glows... she then destroys Sethe, which badly traumatises William. But what's that? Abby's actions are bringing back Anton. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

Titans Annual #1: The old "pit one team against the other and because neither of them knows what's going on they fight" schtick, eh? The Tians and Legion Lost have a bit of a punchup, and we don't actually learn that much about The Culling. Luckily the premise is explained in the back pages of the issue (not in the storyline) - because N.O.W.H.E.R.E. make so many teenage heroes, sometimes they get them to fight each other to get rid of the weaker ones. Quite how this ties into bringing more in who they didn't make is not clear at all. Also, this is part 1 of 4, but the Legion Lost don't get there until part 3 of 4. Obviously. This book is kind of pointless, if I'm honest, and I'm not sure why it exists.

World's Finest #1: Where Robin and Supergirl from Earth 2 become Huntress and Power Girl on our Earth, and arrive from dinner just too late to see Mister Terrible go from our Earth to Earth 2 where (presumably) he will be better written. It's kind of fun in a Giffen/Maguire Justice League way, which is added to by having Kevin Maguire do the flashback pages, but not essential. On the other hand, having an actually readable book in the 52 is a bonus so hats off to Paul Levitz. Worth looking at.

Batgirl #9: Damn, if this isn't the best issue of this book to date. How much of it is down to Owls and how much is down to Gail Simone isn't clear, as the good bits (the female Owl - and specifically her training history, the attack on GCPD, the frankly ASTONISHINGLY GOOD Jim Gordon conclusion) feel like they were Bat-editorial decisions foisted on her. But the bottom line is this - if Owls is making Batgirl this good then you should be buying the trade when it turns up. Next up is Knightfall? wtf?

Batman #9: Despite having praised Gail Simone above, Scott Snyder is very probably the best Bat-writer of our generation. His work on this book just goes from strength to strength as this this issue sees the conclusion to the Owls in the Batcave and begins to reveal the extent with which the tertiary Gotham cast has been reduced as a result of this plotline. A triumph. There's a seemingly inessential Alfred backup story. Well, until the last page. BUY THE TRADES.

Batman & Robin #9: A tale of a single Owl told from start to finish, having waited nearly 250 years for this assignment. It's maybe a welcome change of pace in the overall plot, but by the same token is therefore less engaging. At one point I thought Damien was going to try and talk him out of it in the whole "DON'T YOU SEE? I'M JUST LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" emo nonsense we've been subjected to before, but this isn't where Batbooks are any more and that's got to be a good thing for everybody.

Deathstroke #9: A bad thing for everyone, not least for DC's accountants, is the continuing publication of Deathstroke. Of course, since this is now ALL LIEFELD ALL THE TIME it features SWORDS and POUCHES and NO FEET. I love the bit when one of his mates brings Deathstroke EXTRA POUCHES in the middle of a fight, but this is every bit as inept as his work on other Johnsiverse books would make you think. But this isn't the worst crime. After I noticed last month that Vega had been destroyed, I wondered what that meant for the Omega Men and now I got my answer. THEY'VE GIVEN THEM TO ROB FRICKIN' LIEFELD. Which means they all look alike. I seriously didn't realise it was them for 5 or 6 pages, and I'm a bit of a fanboy. THIS IS YOUR WORST BETRAYAL YET DIDIO. In the end, Zealot and Deathstroke go off to find Lobo. This can't work out well for anybody, not least the reader.

Demon Knights #9: A filler issue pretty much, churning bits of the Merlin plot and advancing it slowly, but the continuing reason why this is still one of the great unsung books of the Johnsiverse is simply that it's so different. Next month - SEA SERPENTS! You didn't see that coming now, did you?

Frankenstein #9: This rehashes parts of the current Animal Man plot and largely resolves the bit not being dealt with in that book through the use of a Magic Science Device Deus Ex Machina in two pages. We then get left with the notion that Frankie and Not Abe Sapien are going to make the beast with two backs. Really, not as worthwhile as BPRD.

Green Lantern #9: So, the Knights That Say Nok reveal that there's a new Older Than Time Began Threat to the GLC and that Abin Sur discovered it. And it's the Guardians themselves, which might have been nice for him to have told Hal right back at Day 1 if I'm honest. Anyway, he predicted everything Johnsy including that Blackest Night would happen. Again, it would have been nice to have said any of it. Dull rubbish.

Grifter #9: THE LIEFELDENING. Yet bizarrely they don't actually trust him to do the dialogue, so it's handled instead by "Frank Tieri". I'm going with scarequotes here, because this is SO Liefeld - and as inept as Deathstroke - that it has to be pseudonymous for tax reasons. On the plus side, it does show how much I hated Grifter before, and how badly written it was, because I can't help thinking it's slightly improved. Worse and better at the same time, huh? Fancy that.

Legion Lost #9: Culling blah blah. Oh wait, a Time Bubble? Are we flagging the end of the title here? But let's not find out, let's see a FITE. The Fairchild/Rose page is spectacularly bad, but the dialogue throughout is awful. I kind of hope this is the end, if I'm honest, as it's not being handled very well any more and I think I'd like to stop reading it now before my goodwill evaporates.

Resurrection Man #9: Best issue yet, by some significant margin as our hero is integrated into the mainstream Johnsiverse via the Suicide Squad. Actually, all the Belle Reve scenes are getting on for being - dare I say it - great. This could maybe turn out to be a hidden gem after all and I absolutely didn't see that coming.

Suicide Squad #9: The precursor to the issue above and, as expected, better. But that's mainly down to the Belle Reve material. Six words. Harleen Quintzel is back in charge. BOOM.

Superboy #9: The Culling is shit, isn't it? This is no exception.

Batwoman #9: Ugh. Dark pages, light pages, dark pages, light pages. This is really kind of painful to read, and the dialogue and plot don't help either. Tuomabait alert: lesbians are promiscuous and can't stay in a settled relationship without snogging the next lesbian they find. Somehow Batwoman is exempt from Owls, but then nobody has noticed the link between the utterly white skinned Kate Kane and the utterly white skinned Batwoman either so it's clearly set in Stupidtown and not Gotham. Bored with this now.
Birds of Prey #9: So, for those of you paying attention in the last review, you will no doubt be amazed that this is IN Owls. Which makes little sense. Anyway, quite early on it's clear that Duane S does not know who Edgar Allen Poe is, and possibly not Tim Burton either since he seems to confuse them. Whatever, we get some creative reuse of material from #1 and eventually the same plot as in Batgirl and/or B&R. It's still worth reading but wait for the Owls trades.
Blue Beetle #9: So, back in the days of GL:NG #1 we get this story, which I suppose3 means the first 8 issues of this happened prior to all the books that aren't Justice League. Or it's happening now and Red Lanterns isn't, plus all the previous issues of GL:NG have simultaneously happened and not happened. I wish people like Julie Schwartz were still running comics. In this, Blue Beetle gets an erection which Bleez doesn't notice but we're supposed to laugh at, and Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean turns up at a fancy dress party as Deathstroke. Laughably bad.
Captain Atom #9: Lurching from bad to worse, our old friend JT Krul makes us wonder for another month whose dick he's sucking at DC to stay employed. I'm not even going to try and summarise this, other than to say CA is the bad guy from all the previous issues due to wibbly wobbly timey wimey and is going to transform into a different bad guy who, presumably, he's going to fight in his own future. I don't know why I bother sometimes.
Catwoman #9: More Owl stuff as Cats saves Pengy from a fate worse than death because he owns a knife. The fact she has 5 doesn't seem to have attracted the Owl's attention, strangely. The Owl here doesn't seem to be affected by the same rules of Owliness as the other either. Kind of a nothing issue, if I'm honest.
DCU Presents #9: James Robinson brings us a Vandal Savage story which rips off Silence of the Lambs shockingly badly but is still a shining beacon in this, the cruellest week of the month. It's up to the standard we expect from him and thoroughly enjoyable - although it needs to go somewhere and not just meander like his current Shade book is in danger of doing.
Green Lantern Corps #9: John Stewart stands to be executed at the end of this tortuous piece of crap. I wish I was him. Than I'd know the next issue was my last one.
Justice League #9: Bleh. Goes nowhere in pursuit of a plot a mother couldn't love. The Shazam backup is the clear highlight as Sivana finds Black Adam. We think. And it rips off Preacher.
LoSH #9: A perfectly serviceable Legion book, and more coherent and/or plotted than in previous months, this exists in its own little bubble that has nothing to do with the Johnsiverse. The Dominators are still the biggest threat to everybody and nobody had said Daemonite at any point which by default makes it better than a great many of the reboot titles.
Nightwing #9: Another 20 pages, another Owl. This is really building to something - it looks like the whole Batfamily has been hand-picked over the years and are all tied into the history of the Owls. It also looks like the House of Leaves issue of Batman a few months ago wasn't an anti-Bats tactic but an attempt to recruit him to their cadre. PAY ATTENTION MARVEL. This is how to do a multi-book crossover event.
Red Hood #9: Maybe the best of all the crossover tie-ins, this has Jason saving Mr Freeze in Gotham's Chinatown and is an absolute blast from start to finish. Afte the controversy of the first issue this has grown and grown, and has got beyond guilty pleasure territory into a genuinely good read. I'm only sorry I judged it so quickly.
Supergirl #9: Conversely this went from a great start to a bag of shit in the blink of an eye. Michael Green has returned this book to the worst excesses of John Byrne's run on Superman, fake Oirish accents and all to be sure so it is begorrah. I'm only still reading for the issue where an alium pornographer makes Kara do a film with Scott Free. It must be coming soon.
Wonder Woman #9: A joy, as ever. The sequence when Aphrodite turns up in the park, or specifically the way the panels borders are drawn, is my favourite thing all month. Strife, as a character, goes from strength to strength. Hades in one of the most fun characters in any of the books. When did Brian Azzarello get this good? I flat out love this title and commend it to you all. Again.

All-Star Western #9: Old time Owls are, in many ways, more fun than modern ones. This is as solid as ever but if I'm completely honest it's an absolutely pointless crossover and we should have just stuck with the original storyline. The Nighthawk and Cinnamon backup is still pointless though, as the only message of note is that they fill in their time by making out.

Aquaman #9: The first half of this is light on plot and dialogue, making it nothing more than a succession of pictures of things you don't really care about. The second half has a lengthy conversation between Mera and the scientist bloke from before, which establishes pretty firmly that Arthur and Manta have previous, and that Arthur is a stinkypants liar to his wife. I had to read it to work this out. Go me.

David Finch's Batman The Dark Knight By David Finch #9: This book is perpetually better the less the David Finch content. This month it's just the pencils, on an Winicky Owls story which doesn't really stand up to the other Owls stories that well. Or is just too similar to the rest, which isn't what you want in the last week of the month. This takes place before Batman #9, which makes perfect editorial sense to put it on sale 2 weeks later. The final page is great though, maybe the best one Finch has done in the Johnsiverse.

Batman Incorporated #1: GMoz gives us a new title, which is effectively one he gave us before but Johnsiverse rebranded. If you liked it before, you'll like it now. But it thinks it's better than it is. It's not even the best Batbook being published any more. But it is GMoz. Actually, it feels like a retread of his previous work more than anything else but maybe that's just over-familiarity. I think I would rather have seen him do an Owls book.

GL:NG #9: GET ONE EDITOR. Remember how in Blue Beetle we saw Bleez and Glomulus on Earth when Kyle found out about the Blue Beetle suit guys invading the Blue Lantern Planet and flew off to save them? And remember how in Red Lantern the Red Battery is knackered and nobody is sure how they're going to recharge anything? Well imagine my surprise when in this book Kyle flies off to save the Blue Lantern Planet and pages other Lanterns on the way. Including Bleez on the Red Lantern Planet and Glomulous on the Orange Lantern Planet. Oh, and one of the Knights Who Say Nok who stopped being Lanterns in this month's Green Lantern. How hard is it to actually keep an eye on all these books and make sure they're coherent? I to read them all and I'm not the one being paid. Anyway, rubbish.

I, Vampire #9: The best issue in some considerable time. All the vampires are hiding in the desert in Utah, so some blokes go to Europe to get a secret army of vampire killers to bomb the shit out of them. In the mean time, after last month Andrew became the MOST POWERFUL VAMPIRE OF ALL TIME ALL TIEM EVER and Mary decided to go with him she is now bored and offers to fight him for the vampire army on the last page. Man, does she have a short memory. Still good stuff though.

Justice League Dark #9: New writer, new team members, same old crap. It's a dull old fetch quest, which leads into OH NOES WE KNOW WHERE THE BOOKS OF MAGIC MIGHT BE BUT WE HAVE PROMISED TO BRING THE MAP BACK. At one point Steve Trevor leaves Constantine's London flat (where his wife isn't, because he's only married in the Vertigo Universe) through the window. How is that 100 foot fall working out for you then Steve?

Superman #9: Pretty awful stuff all round. SEKRET SOVIETZ EXPERIMENTZ. Mistaken identity as someone else gets outed as the real secret identity of Superman! Lois books an expensive restaurant and expects Clark to pay! Hmm.

Teen Titans #9: Thankfully, this is the end of The Culling. Red Robin explains everything that's happened to date for people not reading all the books, and then a whole pile of stuff happens that means nothing to people not reading all the books. It's still the best of all these titles, and next month we get "the mystery of Mystery Island". Which seems to involve dinosaurs. Ace.

Flash #9: EFFORTLESSLY SUPERB. From the ultra-stylish splash page to throwaway pop culture references ("Maybe we're all dead and don't know it. Like in that old TV show where they all got lost..." "You mean Lost?" "I don't know, I don't watch much TV...") every page exudes joy. If Grodd is dealt with too quickly - and there's a reasonable argument he is, I could have easily read another couple of issues of him - next month we get Weather Wizard, and Pied Piper has been introduced (see my next post, once I've done the next three reviews). The Turtle can't be far away. NOT JUST FOR FANBOYS (ALTHOUGH IT HELPS).

Firestorm #9: The world of Firestorms is getting wearying, especially Captain Britain Firestorm. Oh look, they can merge together and form a TransformerStorm. The high point of this is when OMAC pulls the head off a Firestorm. Talk about damning with faint praise.

Hawkman #9: Swords on the cover can only mean one thing: The Liefeldening. While I think DiDio's Plan B is barking mad, you have to admire his faith in Rob. He gets to do plot and co-scripts here, two of his four worst skills (the other two being pencils and inks). To his credit, this is the best book he's produced this month, but it still isn't any good. I think we should start a book on how long he lasts.

Voodoo #9: One of the best issues in some time, although the writer hasn't been reading the core Superman books as Lord Helspont seems now to be in 19th century Mexico. It's obviously not Peru, because that's where Justice League Dark are at the moment. It's building to something, definitely. I'm betting it's cancellation.

Ravagers #1: Seriously, this is every bit as bad as you think it is. One character unzips her suit in the middle of an icefield where they'll freeze to death if they don't keep moving to expose her cleavage, presumably because she needs BEWBS to fly (which is what she does next). All against an angsty Fairchild dialogue of inner thoughts. Technically none of it is awful, but it's one of the most unreable Johnsiverse books.

Animal Man Annual #1: I have to say, as much as I enjoyed this it's an utterly, utterly pointless book. The talking cat tells Maxine a story while it has a piss, a tale of a previous Animal Man and a previous Swamp Thing, fighting a previous version of the Rot in a small town and not winning. Buddy turns up from the future in the story the cat's telling at one point to let them know they're going to fail. Then at the end they go back to a house and prepare for the next issue of Animal Man. It's nicely written and, after a very shakey start, the art's passable. But really, save your money.

Batman Annual #1: Taking place (in effect) during an OWLS crossover, Mr Freeze gets a Johnsiverse origin in this thoroughly decent 40 pager. He's clearly going to be important in Batbooks to come, as he's possibly the only villain that's had this kind of analysis thus far. It turns out the reason the OWLS were after him in the other book is that some of the surgery that's made their regenerative powers stable enough is based on his work, presumably making him the man who knew too much. I'm trying hard not to descend into hyperbole, but I genuinely can't think of a Batwriter that excites me as much as Scott Snyder. Yes, even BatMoz.

Month 7 and 8: Wait, you went on holiday and kept up with it?

YOU READ 6 WEEKS OF DC BOOKS IN ONE GO. LOSE 5 SAN AND ROLL AGAINST WILL TO REMAIN ALIVE
All Star Western #7: Fairly standard Hex fare. We're still in Arkham and Hex is now undercover in a street fighting arena. There's a couple of fights and a bit of plot development. It's good stuff, but not groundbreaking. The backup is potentially good stuff, but in an attempt to hammer in a BLACK PEOPLE ARE ALL ATHEIST GENII message we find that the captain of a whaler owns either one of the first 3500 British copies of On The Origin Of Species or one of the first 500 American copies. Not impossible I suppose, but not very likely either and if I can look up publication dates on Wikipedia then so can you. But then this is a thing for me, people being lazy while writing. You chose to put the detail in, it could at least be right.
Aquaman #7: Um. Yeah. Black Manta appears and kills some woman - this is all connected to the doctor Aquaman was taking the piss out of a couple of issues ago. Some woman with a big cat pops out of a wormhole and attacks everybody but they might be all mates at the end. I'm sure it'll make sense eventually.
Batman #7: OK, this is big. Batman escapes and we find out the truth about the Court of Owls, or at least the amount we're supposed to know at the moment. Dick makes this very point in the comic, that we're being deliberately drip-fed info to keep us sucked in but the things which we don't know yet (but Bats does) is REALLY IMPORTANT but it's being kept from us. Seriously, everybody should be picking up the trades of this.
Batman The Dark Knight #7: David Finch needs to learn what "final" means. He must have time to read a dictionary, given how little he does on his own book now, so we should tell him to. BATMANG EVEN ADMITS THIS TOO FLASH THAT IT'S WRONG. Anyway, Bane goes for a swim and White Rabbit may well be Bruce's girlfriend, even though he seems to have dumped her. This started well and got worse every issue, truth to tell. Does that mean Finch is actually better than we thought? The more of him in it, the more readable it is. A conundrum for our times.
DCU Presents The Challs #7: Unreadable DiDio nonsense. The guy from last month that dided is alive again, the Challs go off to find some stuff from their brand new SECRET BILLION POUND BASE, some statues come to life and the dead guy kills some people. As you were.
Flash #7: Does nobody have powers under control in this book? Captain Cold's go wrong and Flash's go wrong AGAIN, this time sucking Iris through a wormhole. To get her back we break out the COSMIC TREADMILL. FUCK YEAH. And Gorilla City gets introduced too? In addition to the basic quality of the book, which is high, we're getting Flash Fanboy 101 to boot. Awesome.
I, Vampire #7: Takes place after JLD #7. Reads JLD #7. Reads I, V #7. Is none the wiser. This is very pretty but I can't make head nor tail of it. When the titular hero died he may or not have been reborn as Cain who has started the Vampire Apocalypse. Which is too powerful for all the magic heroes we know about in the Johnsiverse but is being held at bay by Batman and Batgirl. I think. It continues in both #8s anyway. It might make sense later.
Justice League #7: Train wreck. The Shazam backup/teaser is better. But they're both Ultimate Johns Sadface.
Justice League Dark #7: More coherent than I, Vampire but this may just be because the plot almost makes a little sense. They all hate each other, and all of them are crap in their own way. They all end up in different parts of the afterlife at the end. Unfortunately I doubt they'll stay there.
LoSH #7: The lustre is wearing off, if I'm honest. A flipper.
Nightwing #7: So, everything from the earlier issues is now shown to be a lead into the end of Batman #7. I can get with that, and it's well written stuff. This has been worthwhile up till now but I think I'll have had enough after the Owls crossover event.
Supergirl #7: The fight from the last issue sort of peters out into nothing. Now there's a metaphor for this book.
Superman #7: Bored with this. Helspont out of Wildstorm and previous issues of Stormwatch is the bad guy. It looks like they're building to Krypton being a Daemonite outpost, but I don't care to be honest.
Wonder Woman #7: Diana realises she gets things wrong sometimes. This maintains the high standard of previous issues but is moving kind of slowly. It's always a beacon this late in the reading list though, so I need to stick with it regardless or it'll just be depressingly awful.

Birds of Prey #7: Do you ever have one of those days? When you cut a man's head off with the sword your dead husband lives in, only for it to turn out you've killed the wrong guy? Exactly. Not that thrilling.
Blue Beetle #7: I have a nagging suspicion this is getting better, but incrementally and it's nigh impossible to tell. It just isn't doing anything that isn't being done 1000x better in Ultimate Spider-Man, for example. I think it should just try and work out what it wants to be and stick with it,which it seems unable to do, and accept that noboby really likes it. It's no wonder this and Captain Atom are the lowest sellers not cancelled.
And speaking of which... Captain Atom #7: A new backstory for a character we don't care about, written by a guy who makes Liefeld look like a genius, which ends with Captain Atom having a crying wank outside a restaurant while the girl he fancies (who he nearly burned to death the other issue, mind) goes on a date. And then an alium comes out of him and wants to have a philosophical chat. Written like that I almost wish I had read it.
Catwoman #7: This is just sort of a nothing book with no plot. Catwoman is stealing cars for a living, she has a snarky fence and a new car thief boyfriend. Her boobs look weird. I don't get why anyone would buy it.
GLC #7: It feels like an obvious trope as there must have been any number of "returning a dead Lantern to his family" issues before, and this is utterly treading water. Oddly, I don't remember the actual plot finishing and I don't think it has, even though Guy Gardner is getting told off for it. I struggled to stay awake while reading this.
Red Hood #7: I thought I liked this. I'm not so sure - there's a fight inside a plane with the ghost of a cavewoman made from smoke and Jason Todd is WAY more complicated than any of us ever thought. I think the simple answer is that it's about in the middle, quality wise. That makes it better than AT LEAST 20 other books DC publish in the Johnsiverse, which is a much worse looking stat than I thought it would be.
Blackhawks #7: ????? I read this and didn't understand a word. A plane crashes into a building two thirds of the way through. I say building, I mean a room in an underground base which it gets directly into. That's a big ventilation shaft. Thank G_d that's nearly over.
GL New Guardians #7: AND IT WAS A DOUBLE TREBLE QUADRUPLE BLUFF BY LARFLEEZE ALL ALONG FEATURING A GENETICALLY MODIFIED DUPLICATE VEGA SYSTEM. I can't believe I didn't spot that. (By the way, Larfleeze is now the worstest baddest GL enemy ever from the dawn of time etc, just like all the previous ones.) It's also revealed the Omega Men aren't in the Johnsiverse. ;_; All of Red Lanterns happened between the last issue of this and the current one, which is maybe the best fate for it. OH NOES KYLE RAYNER HAS TO KILL LARFLEEZE TO LIVE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?
Teen Titans #7: Much as I'm glad at the reveal that it actually is Danny The Street that's joined the Titans, and Kid Flash is still brilliant, this is going in circles. Month on month the bad guy is revealed to be controlled by the next level bad guy and this issue is no exception. I enjoy this as much as Red Hood. With all that entails.
Savage Hawkman #7: The Gentleman Ghost starts the zombie apocalypse to make himself whole again, and is beaten by a zombie in the process. Static shows up for no reason. Hawkman dumps teh ULTIMATE WEAPON where nobody will find (at the top of a mountain). I SMELL A PLOT POINT. He fights a shape-shifter in the next issue, which might be when Liefeld gets on board. The first thing she'll shift is her feet, I bet.
Firestorm #7: Jason is tortured when he sees his parents and has a little cry. Ronnie is tortured when he sees some Quraqis and has a little arm when they cut his hand off. Hardly seems like a fair deal. This is still so 80s it's ridiculous, and has yet one more new super Firestorm-a-like. I think they've introduced something like 10 now. Let's have a Liefeldening!
Voodoo #7: Huh? Was fun though, almost.

Action #8: Off the bus, I think. GMoz wraps the story in a couple of pages but pads heavily with the sort of will-he-won't-he challenge of a hero stuff he's done too many times before (it feels like). And the less said about the violent change in artist for the last half dozen pages the better. Tepid.

All Star Western #8: Bless. Hex, Nighthawk and Cinnamon are off fighting the anarchists so Arkham does what all doctors should - he gets stoned off his tits on opium then arrested. It's all part of a complicated double cross that looks to see our heroes blown up next month anyway, but I'm more concerned about the guy whose mother Arkham doesn't slag off in prison - what happened to him? Backup is irrelevant again, sadly.

Animal Man #8: I hate the artwork all the way through this as blackens my mood as I try and read it. Maxine learns how to control her powers and Buddy forgets that birds fly and ends up pecked to death. This is leading into a crossover where you have to buy annuals and Frankenstein. It makes you wonder where they would have taken the plot if it had been cancelled, really. I'm getting kind of sick of the race to cross everything over as early as possible and would like to see some plot development in isolation.

Aquaman #8: Marital strife as Mera finds out about the super-team Arthur was in behind her back with the woman from the last issue and her big cat. We get a flashback to them being heroic at the same time as Arthur was already in the Justice League - WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOUR CONTINUITY SERIOUSLY? Like Aquaman, this is middle of the road and vaguely good.

Batgirl #8: So it turns out the bad guy's is one of the henchmen present when the Joker shot Babs. OH WAIT IS THIS MAYBE GAIL SIMONE'S WHOLE PLOT? Mummy Babs gets the blame for everybody James has killed since he was a child. CLANG! Who turns up on the last page to lead into the Owl saga? It's almost like this writes itself.

Batman #8:

http://youtu.be/M8el_P4yvfc

Great stuff.

Batman & Robin #8: 20 pages of DADDY ISSUES. Not really what I want from this book.

Batman the Dark Knight #8: David Finch content = the cover, which is at least partially related to the contents. A solid enough minor Batbook but nothing better. Would rather not have paid for it to be honest.

Batwing #8: So, the primary bad guy turns out to be Batwang's mate back from they were child soldiers but in charge is a guy who runs child soldier armies called Kone. HOLY HAM-FISTED CURRENT AFFAIRS! There's no way this will make it beyond the Owls. What was I saying earlier about cancellations?

Batwoman #8: Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. I think we know what that means about the writing.

DCU Presents the Challs #8: Jerry Ordway's art looks like an inferior Chris Weston. That feels intrinsically wrong to say, doesn't it? Heretical, almost? So, this starts with one of them being sucked through a historical monument which lets them emote for the purposes of televisual entertainment for a bit. They then sit down and have an omelette and have a chat with a guy who is obviously an evil duplicate sent to steal the talismans (talismen?). I KNEW IT, IT'S DEAD/NOT DEAD HALF FACE MISSING GUY FROM THE OTHER ISSUE. He kills one, is destroyed (luckily) by the power and then, just like that, the series finishes with no real explanation or wrap-up of the storyline. Utterly appalling storytelling, and a wasted opportunity.
Demon Knights #8: The title of this books was misused for Daemonites in another book this month. COULD THIS BE A HINT OR JUST A CRAPPY INJOKE? I can't tell any more. Anyhoo, we begin with a debate about the nature of the DC Universe, or how everybody present can know a different Camelot and not have seen each other in it. We then have a Jason Blood origin story and it turns out Merlin bonded him to Etrigan after two different objects of his affections (Jason and Madame Xanadu) fell for each other. I can go for the idea of him doing it in some kind of hissy fit to be honest, it always seemed like a dick move to me. Etrigan turns out to be a dick because he wants to make the beast with two backs (one scaly, one not) with her too and so burns a village down. Just your run of the mill day.
Detective Comics #8: Batman behaves quite differently to Catwoman that he does is some of the other reboot books, I'll tell you that for nothing. To be fair, the comic even acknowledges this in itself, which is kind of an odd state of affairs. Scarecrow sends Batman off to save Alfred E Neumann but STUPID BATTY MAN it's all a con. D'oh! Good stuff though, and I'm entertained all the way.
Flash #8: SPEED FORCE EXPLAINED! FUNERAL THAT SLAGS OFF GREEN LANTERN! TRYING TO BREAK THROUGH TIME! THE RISE OF GRODD! LOTS OF OTHER THINGS THAT MAKE ME SPEAK IN ALL CAPS! I'm tempted to say this has gradually become my favourite book of the 52. As thrill-powered as it gets.
Frankenstein #8: Franky Baby goes on the rampage back to his spiritual home and is killed by his mum, having been previously killed by his dad. Franky Lady leaves the BPRD and Ranky decides he has to stay with them because he needs to wash the grren stuff off his hands and they have the only hot water in Europe. Franky Writer congratulates himself about how great he is, despite everything in this being ripped off something else - there's a "KILL" "KILL" repeat that eventaully becomes "KILL ME" which Alan Moore did in Miracleman, I think, and various others have done in other places. The nicest thing I can think of to say about it is it's quicker to read than all the things it's stolen from but it's also less fun.
Justice League Dark #8: The "Crystal One" who is the "Power Master" decides to stop being neutral in letting the bad guy take all the magic energy by farting a tornado into Gotham which has... erm.. no effect whatsoever except allow for a Batman panel. Shade gets eaten by the M-Vest and ends up permanently in the Area of Madness (but Kathy's there, so he doesn't have to get the vest to magic her up when he wants a shag). There's lots of running away. Then, amongst all the vampires, a vampire turns up...
I, Vampire #8: and completes the crossover plot before page 3 is over. Then erases it all from history. So, 2 months well spent then. I think there are more adverts in this book than any other I've ever read.
Justice League #8: Steve Trevor tries to put Green Arrow on the team but Aquaman is so traumatised by JT Krul's run on the book he says no. In the backup, Billy Batson goes to live with the Legion of Substitute Heroes and drinks some hot chocolate. I bet that gets you dying to read it, huh?
LoSH #8: Two short stories, one which teases the return of the Fatal Five and one which is a typical Legion backup story. We're back again at pandering to Legion fanboys I'm afraid but during this slog through things I can't be arsed about this pushes my buttons.
Legion Lost #8: Oh great, a prequel to a crossover. At the very beginning and the very end we get stuff on a guy called Harvest who steals our heroes at the end to take them to N.O.W.H.E.R.E. The rest of it is pretty good fluff, I suppose. If it wasn't for the characters in this I wouldn't care for the book at all, I suspect.
Nightwing #8: Another prequel crossover! But to a good one! And a pretty great issue. Backstory about Gotham, Owls and eye stabbings. Woohoo! I'm kind of surprised how much I like this book to be honest but more than happy to still be on board.
OMAC #8: THE SHOCKING END NOBODY SAW COMING! Well, apart from anyone watching sales figures. This series has been an absolute Kirby Blast, and this issue is absolutely no exception. Worth it for the panel where OMAC and Maxwell Lord fall out of Abraham Lincoln's nose alone. I have loved this, really. A shame there were so few agreed.

Red Lanterns #8: I love it when people explain exactly what they're doing, even to the point where they speak out loud their inner thoughts, despite them being the only person there. That's quality storytelling and always makes me want to read further. Humans are the most intelligent species in the universe because they have brains that evolved over millions of years. That's another good one. Crossovers into GL, GLC, Stormwatch too, which always works. Thankfully the blurb implies the next issue is the last. Unfortunately I suspect they're lying.
Stormwatch #8: Not Batman gets all flustered when a small child tells him she knows he'd like to suck off Not Superman, then the Engineer tells sexy love times stories to a generator and offers to show the child a puppy as a treat. Not Batman then leaves her in an alium stomach, in another dimension, as punishment for helping him get Not Superman back to make kissyface at. She brings herself back anyway to piss him off. This helps beat some space baddies who killed off the Daeomonites (despite them being alive in not only this book but half the others) according to J'onn J'onnz. I suspect he just hasn't read enough Wildstorm books. I wish I was him.
Suicide Squad #8: THE SECRET ORIGIN OF DEADSHOT'S MOUSTACHE! Apart from this, it's a framing story of individual members of the Squad to give us the next mystery. Who is the plant out to kill The Wall for The Basilisk? A break from the carnage Dan refers to upthread but still a great book. Even if it looks like there's a Resurrection Man crossover imminent.
Supergirl #8: Kara meets a friend, because The Aul' Country is identical to Krypton. They hide out in a really obscure location - The Flatiron Building (or whatever the DC equivalent is called, but I have a sneaking feeling it was established earlier that Supergirl takes place in New York - Titans is there so we know it exists in the DCU). They then go to Queens, just passed the Daily Planet building. Which is is Downtown Metropolis. They then go to another part of Queens, which Times Square is in, because she's got a "buzz" about her being the top Celtic Songstress in indie coffee shops. My head hurts. It turns out she's the Byrne-era villainess Silver Banshee, because she can sing and it turns out her "Da" (see, that proves she's Irish, obviously) is the Black Banshee. I hope you're keeping up with this.
Superman #8: Helspont is the baddie from "For The Man Who Has Everything". Basically. Hooray for Dan Jurgens' reading abilities.
Swamp Thing #8: I'll have to be honest. This is mainly splash pages or gorgeous Yanick Paquette art. But there's enough plot to carry it, just, as Alec accepts what he is not and fights the Rot to get Abby back. The last few pages seem to imply this isn't possible but then it looks like we go into a different crossover next month and leave this plot alone? I'm, not for the first time, baffled by DC's editorial decisions.
Wonder Woman #8: A Diana armed to the teeth goes to the Underworld, which is now London as imagined by Dante. It turns out she might have underestimated the strength of her bracelets, although it may just all be down to the magic. Great stuff.

Green Arrow #8: So it looks like the triplets from the last issue are a genetic experiment by a guy who looks like a Frost Giant, while GA beats up the Wuffa Wuffa Guy. I suspect he'll be back and save the day. By breaking Ann Nocenti's fingers so she can't write this any more. She's barely a step up from JT Krul (but obviously she is, nobody else is that bad). I can't imagine who is buying this.

Hawk & Dove #8: Liefeld obviously had lots of plans for this before cancellation, because this issue has more plot than maybe all the other issues put together. The strain of this, however, has told on him because despite the presence of top Liefeld-swiper Marat Michaels to help him out on pencilling and TWO Liefeld-sympathetic (because it still looks like he did it himself) inkers it's still exceptionally sparse in terms of visual content. Most panels don't have backgrounds to them, and there are less teeth than normal. Anyway, dragons and snakes versus birds is the oldest space conflict known to the universe and it plays out in a cave with swords and ninjas. The bad guy runs away. Dove says "So that's it?" It certainly seems to be. And not before time. Even watching in from a car crash perspective was only fun for the first couple of issues to be honest, there's only so much Liefeld I can take.

JLI #8: Batwing teams up and arguably makes the issue worse. He only gets about 10 words in the whole issue though, mainly when Batman lets him speak. Then, fresh from cancellation, OMAC turns up to SMASH. A waste of paper, and also was the first time it was written in about 1988.

Men of War #8: Featuring only Frankenstein content, so I'm not really sure what it has to do with this book. This issue is Lobster Johnson to Frankie's own BPRD, really. Is that the ultimate ignominy, not even being allowed to see out your own book? I actually quite enjoy this, mainly because it's not only better than MoW, it's also better than the Frankie book. Jeff Lemire should take this route over there instead.

Static Shock #8: I know, let's see out the series with a Secret Origin and a recap of the previous issues. DC really didn't think this through, did they? Why would anyone buy this issue?

Deathstroke #8: Is this over? I hope so. 20 pages of daddy issues (with both Deathstoke's dad and son) is not what's expected in a KILL KILL MAIM KILL REND TEAR KILL comic, and the writing is as good as you'd expect from someone only capable of doing a KILL KILL MAIM KILL REND TEAR KILL comic. Dreadful.

Green Lantern #8: "NOK." See? I can speak Johnsian. This summarises Brightest Day & Blackest Night in about 5 pages then tries one of the oldest scifi plot holes in the book - the self charging and sustaining energy source. Johns works round it well for the first page or so (where he draws attention to it) then forgets it exists in case it gets in the way of the plot. Once Abin Sur says NOK I'm about ready to leave. Thankfully I only had Sinestro saying NOK to read before I was done. Who actually likes this?

Grifter #8: ??? Unreadable. Grifter and his brother, both of whom are possessed by Daemonites at points talk face to face and disembodied at varying times on top of the Eiffel Tower preparing for the "fight to the death" promised on the cover, before Grifter decides he can't be arsed with it and throws himself off the top. I feel like doing that too, only I wouldn't skid down the side in dress shoes shooting guns like he does. Next issue features Chesire, which presumably means a Red Hood crossover - assuming she has a kid with Roy in the Johnsiverse. Who can tell.

Mister Terrific #8: I refuse to believe all Mister Terrific's software is written in COBOL. NO WAY PEDRO. He talks the Blackhawks out of shooting him, gets thanked by the only other black woman in Los Angeles (except his girlfriend) then relieves the misery by making a multi-dimensional tube that takes him to Earth-2. So we're not done with him yet, unfortunately. This really has been a shockingly bad series. It being accepted as a pitch at all is the most baffling thing about it for me.

Resurrection Man #8: A private dick with mental powers tries to take Mitch down but falls in wub a bit, then a fat guy who steals lives turns up to steal his lives but is killed by them, then the Suicide Squad turn up and shoot him. Haven't we been round this buoy before, except without the Squad? Tiresome stuff.

Superboy #8: "NOBODY TREATS GRUNGE LIKE A JOKE!" Tell that to Blind Melon. I think I've got in the swing of this now, as long as I assume it's doing exactly the same things as the Titans book. When is watching people rip out surgical implants with their mind NOT fun,eh? Still, let's close out with some Legionnaires we haven't seen yet to make people come back. I'll fall for it, I guess.

Birds of Prey #8: EVERYONE ALMOST DIES! But nobody does! Except Dinah's husband of three years ago, that is. Wait, what? Everything you know is wrong or something. Starling is walking around hacking into computers with a knife until a spy's talking groin shows her on an iPad why people are trying to blow up Black Canary. Katana fights a man in a loincloth with impervious skin. I AM NOT ON DRUGS.

Blue Beetle #8: So, it turns out Stopwatch's secret origin is, in fact, pretty much the same as Iron Man's only involving a time machine instead of an energy device. Yet only being a poor scientist and not a millionaire playboy, he uses it for bad instead of good. Iron Man wants our hero to help him, but he sets fire to an orphanage instead. This probably isn't good for him, because he's already had a video of how crap he is on Failblog. Then Kyle Rayner, Bleez and Globulus show up. I wonder where exactly in either Red Lantern or GL:NG chronolgy this falls then? I guess we'll find out next month, although I thought this was one of the cancelled books to be honest.

Captain Atom #8: Cap gets sucked into the timestream. Can you guess what it looks like? If you said some kind of body of water then give yourself a contract with DC! In other "I thought that was the last issue of this shit" news, next month seems to feature some other magic woman and possibly the fight between Cap and his mentor who has now left his wheelchair to be a bad guy in a giant robotic suit. Although none of this matters, since the Earth is destroyed 20 years later. If only we knew later than when.

Catwoman #8: The 'getting out of the pool' panel on the first page is maybe the weirdest one yet printed in this strip. That's some claim. Worse than Batsex. Worse than knees bending the wrong way. Worse than feet being on the wrong legs. Some daggers get stolen by Catwoman and her toyboy before they realise the Penguin has the missing one (for "obvious" reasons that aren't explained). We're then treated to a series of pages that have already been published somewhere else (Batgirl?) before we cut to Owls. This is going to be the worst book that's part of Owls. And I don't believe for a minute they're going to kill the Penguin off either.

Green Lantern Corps #8: OH GOOD A NEW SUPER-POWERFUL GL CORPS THING. The Alpha Corps appear to have made themselves into constructs from a ring source that doesn't exist yet, and swear allegiance to a battery they haven't yet created. I was right though, the plot from the first issues did finish without me noticing. Now everyone is tied up trying to bury the power battery of the Sinestro Corps on Oa, because having it on Oa is really dangerous. TOP PLAN.

Red Hood #8: This reminds me more than anything else of Mojo Mayhem. Which is no bad thing. Jason shoots a fat woman in the face after she throws herself down a liftshaft at him. She did try and blow up a children's hospital to get him to the bottom the lift, mind. Tim Drake invites Jason for breakfast and he agrees to save Mister Freeze from Owls. Yay!

Blackhawks #8: I like that they've specially coloured some pages for the people complaining about Flex Mentallo. There's a misguided end to this that suggests it'll be back. It won't.

Green Lantern: New Guardians #8: Everybody goes home to charge up their rings where they get up to speed with GL continuity. Arkillo makes Guy Gardner look like even more of a dick than he is, and he isn't even in this comic. This is probably the best GL book, still, but that isn't saying much.

Teen Titans #8: Omen makes them all expose themselves to the rest. (Not a joke, actually the dialogue.) Amanda Waller turns up just after 3 issues ago and decides she doesn't fancy it much, so leaves. We get near confirmation Kid Flash is tapping into the same Speed Force as Flash. This runs straight into The Culling which will hopefully make sense. I enjoy this book despite everything.

Firestorm #8: I don't enjoy this book despite everything. Actually, only despite my irrational attachment to the Jon Ostrander series, because that's pretty much the only thing that could give anybody any reason to like this. I KNOW, LET'S INTRODUCE MORE FIRESTORMS. Including one in Captain Britain's costume. How is this not cancelled?

Hawkman #8: A continuity piece that follows #7 and explains bits of the plot by ignoring (and seeing the end of) the character introduced at the end of #7. Saved from cancellation only by imminent Liefeldening, which is presumably why Tony Daniel has written out his ideas.

Voodoo #8: Yay! An ACTUALLY CANCELLED. Wait, IT'S NOT? There's a fight which sort of ends it all, then Voodoo who is Voodoo escapes and Voodoo who isn't Voodoo doesn't and so Voodoo who isn't Voodoo gets hired by the people hunting Voodoo who is Voodoo to hunt Voodoo who is Voodoo. None of this will sew Jef Smax's hea dback on, or remove the spike from the chest of the woman we thought the series was really about. Oh well.