Month 0: The worst week since the reboot. Seriously.

Action Comics #0: Very nice and all, but am I alone in thinking this is utterly pointless? We get the story of Superman's t-shirts (told a couple of issues ago in the Solly Fisch backup), the story of Clark's landlady and Mxyzptlk (told in the main feature last month) and an inconsequential little story about the cape maybe having some of the powers in it rather than in Supes. Throw in an admission by Clark to Jimmy that he only started working at the Planet to get close to Lois and a throwaway couple of panels giving the SHOCKING SECRET ORIGIN OF NU-JIMMY OLSEN. The backup is just confusing. It tells an old story of the threat which was fully explained in the main title over the past couple of months. Does that mean Adam is coming back? Is the Planet Cuckoo plot ongoing because, you know, it seemed kind of final and closed? How does this square with GMoz going in a couple of months? GET ME AN EDITOR FOR THE WHOLE LINE.
Animal Man #0: Right, in short the plot is this: Arcane/The Rot are too powerful and Kill Animal Man/the Red Avatar. The Red discuss things and know Maxine is supposed to be the new avatar (even though she isn't conceived at that point) so send the GMoz aliens to operate on Buddy and make him a stop-gap. Ellen doesn't get to grips with the new Buddy, especially when she becomes pregnant with Maxine 6 months later. Arcane/The Rot then decide that although they know she's the real chosen one and it would be really easy to wipe her out as a foetus it's far more beneficial to allow her to live and be the centre of a crossover event which will make DC lots of money. Which for me raises this question - what are the GMoz aliens actually for and why do The Red have them if the only time they have used them is the one time they've been forced into botching a stop-gap avatar because their next one (who doesn't need operated on) doesn't exist yet? I feel like we need a "The Tailors" #0. But don't get ideas. I wouldn't buy it.
Batwing #0: You know what's handy about UNSPEAKABLE ACTS? You can't show them, or even talk about them because they are UNSPEAKABLE. This is somewhat of a drawback in an origin issue. Ultimately, David gets a thrill out of dressing up and beating up criminals. Part of this is because he was disgusted when a fellow police officer offered him a bribe at a crime scene. This didn't stop him from accepting it, or make him leave the police force, just made him dress up and be violent. Despite this, Bats likes him and gives him everything he wants. CONSORTING WITH CRIMINALS, EH BRUCE? He could probably have afforded to buy all the stuff with the cash he's creaming off during his day job. So what's he spending it on? Eh? EH? Inquiring minds want to know, Winick.
Detective #0: I am now completely confused as to who buys this shit. Oh wait, it's me, isn't it. Crap. In the first story, we learn how Bruce had all the emotion driven out of his heart in the Himalayan monastery, including having the girl he fancied murdered for money by her own family to prove that everyone is scum. In the second story he returns to Wayne Manor because he loves Alfred so much and immediately tells him everything about how he wants to be Batman. They obviously didn't teach discretion at the monastery.
Dial H #0: Awesome. What would happen if we had an ancient Eqyptian Dial H, complete with giant stone sun-dial dial and modern-era heroes. A women who can fly in her fairground dodgem car? CHECK, MOTHERFUCKER. And if an entertaining story wasn't enough, we actually get a bit more plot as to how the dials work and the consequences of using them. Top, top stuff.
Earth 2 #0: So, a past tale of the Justice League of Earth 2 prior to EVERYTHING that the Earth 2 book has been doing to date. And is going to be continued in Earth 2 #5. So, a reboot of the book then. Which came from a reboot (post-cancellation) of Mr Terrific. Who hasn't really featured in it since #1. Who is the secret Justice League member he isn't mentioning? Who cares.
GI Combat #0: The Unknown Soldier part of this is pretty good. We find out (possibly) that there have been Unknown Soldiers through history, providing a mystic dimension, or it could just all be a drug hallucination. Does the museum even exist? "You're really into this, aren't you?" says a crow. Yes, yes I am. Do you need me to tell you that the JT Krul segment is shite? "Couldn't rest. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep." COULDN'T WRITE, MORE LIKE.
Green Lantern #0: OH GOD, GEOFF JOHNS, JUST FUCKING STOP WITH THE SADFACE. Page 1, Panel 5. We get this image:

PANEL FUCKING 5. An Arab family in Michigan are watching 9/11. The next day, some people write 'Arabs go home' on their community centre. Five years later, a girl gets teased by some boys. In 2011, a guy gets searched in an airport. This turns Baz into a suicide bomber. BY PAGE 3. But by accident though, because he was only being a thief. This doesn't stop him getting Guantanamoed by people who doubt he's American because he doesn't have an American name. Despite the fact their names are Valdez and Fed (which is a common British surname, according to Johns). And Agent Fed is doing this BECAUSE HIS SON DIED IN 9/11. Stop, please. I can't decide whether this is the funniest thing I've ever read, or the craziest. I can't understand what Geoff Johns' point is. More to the point, I can't understand WHY THE FUCK A COMISSIONING EDITOR THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA. In the end, he gets rescued from Waterboarding Death by Sinestro/Hal Jordan's ring after they went off into blackness at the end of the GL Annual. This is bound to end well, obviously.
Green Arrow #0: Judd Winick writes the 'playboy Ollie gets dumped on a deserted island and learns to shoot' story. In the Johnsiverse, playboy Ollie gets dumped on a deserted island and learns to shoot. It's as essential a read as that makes it sound.
Phantom Stranger #0: Ok. An origin issue for a title not being published. Which DC have always shied from telling the origin of, given that would remove all the mystery from a character whose only power is... mystery. Written by Dan DiDio. On about page 5 we get shown the three "greatest transgressors mankind has ever known". Hitler? Stalin? Pol Pot? Idi Amin? Ghengis Kahn? Vlad The Impaler? No. A ginger bloke who looks a bit like Guy Gardner, a woman in a cloak (who looks pretty much like Countdown woman) and the guy who becomes the Stranger (whose transgression is avarice causing him to betray his mate). He then pleads to the wizard to forgive him, like Jesus would have done. My head hurts. In the actual story, the Stranger thinks he can stop being the Stranger by turning Jim Corrigan into The Spectre. He does, but then the spooky voice goes back on his promise. CURSE YOU, SPOOKY VOICE! JESUS WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT (PROBABLY)!
Stormwatch #0: Oh you're kidding me. AT-ATs controlled by dolphins? Jenny Quantum is really the force behind Demon Knights? And then she became a nun so she could have sex with Merlin, because he only has sex with nuns. Then the Demon Knights fight the Daemonites, and are forced to change their name to avoid Dark Ages confusion over homophones. Unreadable, really.
Swamp Thing #0: Having slagged off the other books for retelling stories that didn't need retold, and shoehorning in crossovers, I am eating my words. Scott Snyder takes the well-worn story of how Alec Holland becomes the Swamp Thing and retells it changing only ONE detail (which I'm not going to spoil for you if you haven't read it). In doing so he links it into Rotworld and Animal Man #0 effortlessly and still tells a cracking story in the process. Victory from what should be, if you'd described it beforehand, the jaws of defeat.
World's Finest #0: Basically, how Helena and Kara meet on Earth 2. But ultimately this takes the bits I've been enjoying of World's Finest (the Levitz/Maguire bits) and gives us 20 pages of it. Which is nice. Good stuff, but inessential frippery really.