Batman #0: Basically, a rooftop conversation between Bruce and Gordon where Gordon lets him know he thinks he's the new vigilante running about. But it's definitely much more - the Red Hood bank job is clearly a nod back to the original, and may link into a Joker origin in coming months. Snyder has talked/trailed something that could be a Death In The Family reboot so it makes sense that he would build it from the ground up. A good, solid filler then with a backup story that basically gives us the origins of all the Johnsiverse Robins in 6 pages. Compact and efficient storytelling definitely has a place in the New DC and more writers could learn from this short piece.
Batman & Robin #0: I guess this is just a retelling of GMoz's version of Damian's childhood with Talia, but you know what the problem is with this? This image:
Cute, yes, but if he's 10 at the time he meets Batman (on the final page) and he's about 2 or 3 in that picture then Talia had a Batman suit at least three years BEFORE BRUCE BECAME BATMAN. Sort it out, please. Somebody?
Deathstroke #0: The first thing we can gather from this is that Rob's seen Captain America: The First Avenger because he's ripped off the plot totally for this. Although the US Army hasn't changed between WWII and whenever this is supposed to be set (although it actually does refer to WWII, so maybe they're all time travellers as well). I love the idea that someone tries to kill Deathstroke's wife and son and this sole act (despite the fact she knows what he does for a living, and was in the Army, and was a key part of running the super-soldier programme and Team 7, and trained Deathstroke in the first place although "birthing two children had slowed me down") is enough for the two of them to become anti-Deathstroke super-villains. But where Rob really pulls it out of the bag here is with his artwork. I could paste almost every page, but let's look at some of the best ever versions of the best ever Rob tropes:
Can anybody work out where this woman's hips are?
It's a mutant baby! Look at the shape of it's head! (Actually, there is other visual evidence on the same page that Rob's model was Uatu The Watcher.)
A gun with no trigger. Or, as we call it, a stick.
Weird torso lines, stretchy groin, heroic poses, what Rob thinks US Army issued boots look like.
Gun with trigger but missing fingers. Swords, pouches, bad feet. Oh, and a missing leg.
Someone being shot by said gun. Which is where? Deathstroke's hands are nearly through the guy's back, never mind the gun.
Heroic floating and/or invisible platform.
Deathstroke's cameltoe bends the rules of perspective.
Where to start. Extra finger, no gun butt, no sense of how projectile weapons work.
INVISIBLE MOTORBIKE.
I'd love to think this is a big fuck you from Rob to DiDio. But the real truth is he's been able to become a millionaire and draws as badly as this. A lesson for all of us.
Demon Knights #0: Hmm. Etrigan was now one of the great demons of Hell, who basically only got that way because Lucifer took the piss out of his speech impediment. Well, that's a retelling and a half. Still, it's well written and consistent with the book as it's written in the Johnsiverse. Which makes it head and shoulders above most of the rest of this shite.
Frankenstein #0: Frankenstein is explained as the actual Frankenstein's monster from the book, only with Victor as a LoEG type chap and some Aztec/Mayan type Amazon Indians having told him the secret to being alive. That makes it all so much better then, doesn't it. Or at least it does when you punch it. That's makes everything great.
GLC #0: Guy Gardner got picked as a Green Lantern because he's a dick, it appears. Did we really need 20 pages of comics to tell us that? Plus he has daddy issues. Like everyone else in the Johnsiverse. Still, his jacket shows he's a rebel and a biker. No, really, he willed it into being solely for that reason. Makes you glad to be alive, doesn't it?
Grifter #0: VERY NEARLY CONTENT-FREE. A couple of panels per page very nearly tells the story of how Grifter forgot he was Daemonite Jesus and ended up in #1. I say nearly, because this wins the award of laziest book Rob Liefeld ever did for DC. And that's some claim.
Legion Lost #0: Timber Wolf's origin is the same as it was before. So this is 20 pages of telling a story we've heard before. Which probably makes sense as the origin of Legion Lost was in #1 and retelling the same story within a year is probably taking the piss slightly too much. Although that hasn't stopped Rob L.
Resurrection Man #0: THE END. It turns out Deathstroke did it. (Not really, it turns out that like in Doctor Who there was a spare arm that had the same sort of healing abilities as the main body and then ended up becoming a thing all of its own - although in this case it had actual magic powers and a whole different personality). A magic demon turns up and kills bad Mitch then transports good mitch to a detective's office where he can work with some other people from the SUPER SECRET BASE as detectives in the future if it ever gets renewed. Unlikely as that seems.
Suicide Squad #0: Contains no actual Suicide Squad content. The story of how The Wall left Team 7, which somehow (with no explanation) gives her the inspiration to start the Squad. It's competently enough written (although the differing height of her top means there is often BEWB/NO BEWB contradiction between panels on the same page) but not what it's supposed to be.
Superboy #0: Since the origin of this Superboy was told over the first three or four issues of the series, so instead we get a story about how Kryptonians were always building clones to do their domestic work and they revolted so it isn't really surprising that this one (being the first Kryptonian/human hybrid) was born with Universe-punching tendencies. And he has a big secret about who the human DNA has come from, but OH NOES THEY GUY WHO IS TELLING HIM IS DEADED! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand we've run out of plot so let's reprint some of the stuff from the first 4 books to pad it out. Despite this, a pretty engaging and fun read.
Team 7 #0: Having had their living story told in Deathstroke #0 and Suicide Squad #0, we now get their founding story. In short, they were set up as DC's version of The Boys at the time of Justice League #1 or thereabouts. We can tell this for two reasons - there's an image of Superman in costume which makes it post-Action, and there's a helpful caption which tells us it's 5 years ago. I'm sure it's not going to be like The Boys, but it has an identical concept. But that isn't the problem. The problem is the people who are in Team 7. We get Waller and Deathstroke. We get Grifter, the old Justice Society Black Canary (plus the guy who she must get married to between this and the start of Birds of Prey) and three new characters. The fittest and best of these, who is stronger and fitter than anyone else in Team 7 according to the dialogue, will be the one that ends up in a mecha suit. Obviously. But that isn't my biggest problem with the title. Which is that Fairchild's dad is there as well, and makes
reference to the fact she wants to be a doctor but is clearly a child from the way he talks about her. So how does she manage to become a successful doctor in charge of a secret programme in five short years? Really, who knows. We've had a time-travelling bat cloak already this month.
Ravagers #0: Or, how Beast Boy and Terra came to be in the Johnsiverse. Fairly predictably, it turns out they were genetic experiments by Harvest - the bad guy we've already forgotten about from The Culling, which we've already forgotten about as well - and the success of these two give him the idea for the whole of his Ravagers/Culling thing. But somewhat inevitably it turns out all his genetic tinkering did was awoke Beast Boy's connection with The Red which means he is an avatar of sorts. STOP IT. RIGHT NOW. This contradicts everything you've just told us in Animal Man, and also means if this doesn't cross over into Rot World (which it doesn't) that neither The Red or The Rot are very attentive. Although probably moreso than DC editors. I mean the Who's Who bit at the end has Fairchild as a doctor in N.O.W.H.E.R.E. at this point, meaning Team 7 #0 doesn't take place when it's supposed to do. MY KINGDOM FOR AN EDITOR.
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