Doctor Who: the Earth is stolen and so is my brain

You know, I figured I might as well do Doctor Who on here as well... several of you may be familiar with my lengthy rantings on ILX and some other places about NuWho, so this may be a pleasant reprise or maybe a painful one. Anyway, I've been on a bit of a Davros kick over the weekend - not strictly true I suppose, more of a Wet Vet run but after seeing Resurrection I had Davros in my head. Rather than make Frances sit through it again, I ploughed through Rusty's take on him today. And boy was I sorry...

As with the vast majority of NuWho stories, the core idea stripped down is a good one. The Daleks are using a series of planets to make a giant bomb which will destroy reality. OK, it owes an awful lot to Dalek Invasion of Earth but remaking stories with a slightly different dressing is not in itself a problem.

So what's actually wrong with it then? I'm reminded of a documentary on Dusty Springfield I saw once where Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe are being interviewed about 'Nothing Has Been Proved' and Neil says that "she just sort of takes your song and 'Dustifies' it". Well Rusty takes the story and just kind of 'Rustifies' it. Throw in Mummy issues. Throw in returning characters. Throw in another set of Mummy issues. Throw in more returning characters. Throw in a third set of Mummy issues, just for luck. Reference your own stories. Make sure there are a couple of really bad anagrams (Osterhagen = Earth's gone). Have another set of returning characters. Have the Doctor cry a bit. Make everybody romantically love the Doctor. Make one of your female heroes sexually predatory. Have a portentous 'prophecy'. Throw in some funny sounding names that DT can gurn while he says. Have those funny Rhinos back, everyone thought the way they spoke was funny. And, most importantly, have a character YOU created i.e. NOT THE DOCTOR be the most important heroic saviour character.

In the end then, by the time you've had 100 introductions and 100 goodbyes there isn't actually much time for the story. The Earth gets taken away. The Doctor isn't on it. The Doctor manages to get to it. The TARDIS is nearly destroyed. The daleks have their hubris tempered. The daleks and Davros appear to be conquered for the last time. Say what you like about running up and down corridors but (more often than not) it was to advance the plot to some degree, no matter how little. Rustifying it doesn't do anything to the plot, in concentrates on the soap opera and Rusty's GRATE JOKES. 

None of this excuses some of the worst crimes, such as letting Freema Ageyman anywhere near the show again. There's stiff competition, but she must be the worst actress ever to have touched the property in 50 years. And then her character is worse. Given a simple job as a UNIT soldier and the LAST HOPE OF EARTH, what does she do? Goes home to see her mum. And stays there. YOU GO GIRL! Billie is, somewhat inexplicably, wearing Dick Emery's comedy vicar teeth. The daleks do the Yakety Sax speeded up thing.

But I'm saving the best for last. The clue was there all along. Donna Noble is a temp. She says so, lots of times. "I'm only a temp." "Best temp in Chiswick." Temp could be time in cod-schoolboy Latin. And she is a Noble. Or a Lady. A Temp Lady. A Time Lady. HAHAHAHAHA DO YOU SEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I might try End Of Time. Or arsenic. I'm not sure which will be worse.

Month 12: Rob says bye-bye

All-Star Western #12: The Crime Bible/Owls stuff concludes pretty much as you'd expect it to, with extreme violence from Tallulah and some inappropiate sexing. Doctor Jekyll's mate turns up at the end? Is ASW going all LoEG on us? Time will tell, I guess, but I'll still be here as this remains a most solidly entertaining read. The Terrence Thirteen backup is great steampunky science hero stuff, but at two issues of 8 pages is actually about as much of it as I want to read. So good job it's Tomahawk next then.

Dark Knight #12: Scripted in such a way to make the most of Dave Finch having given up everything else, this is mainly a stream of pretty (and some, frankly, not so pretty - the Btaman chained to the bench is pretty awful) [ictures which advances the Scarecrow story pretty slowly but at the end it's clear why - Zero Month has to tie into this so the Scarecrow possibly is only there to enable THAT story. In which case, a let-down.

GL:NG #12: Right, so this is over and they break up at the end. But more new team coming and more Kyle Rayner. The Weaponer, who is obviously not Hawkman, manages to switch off the button which is keeping Invictus out of his statue and he just sort of peters out until Larfleeze stands on him. Who could like this?

I, Vampire #12: The broad comedy in this book continues to work well, especially in this Stormwatch crossover which is the most fun they've been since Warren Ellis stopped writing them. But then at the end Andrew seems to have removed the premise of the book. NOW GET OUT OF THAT.

Justice League Dark #12: A very slow-moving stroll though many new minor DC magic characters and a bit of progression on the Tim Hunter stuff. This Felix Faust arc has been fun but it needs to go somewhere, and taking a month off to tell an untold Constantine/Zatanna story in Zero Month will not help.

Superman #12: Crappy 80s monster of the month issue. But then he tells Superman that he can't know what it's like to grow up alone on an alien planet DO YOU SEE. This makes Clark give up being Superman for the day to go bungee jumping. No, me neither.

Titans #12: Look, let's just make this a romance book and then we'll all be happy. Young Heroes In Love. I would buy the shit out of that. It's the bext thing about this title, except for this month's random backup which is a linking piece around DC Presents #12 and will make no sense to anyone who didn't read it. Change tack. Please? For me?

Flash #12: SYNCHRONICITY ALERT. I mentioned Golden Glider in this month's Batgirl review, and who turns up here? OOOH SPOOKY PSYCHIC "Raeppa redilg nedlog!" The Rogues are at war with Captain Cold. How can this suck? It can't, that's how.

Firestorm #12: All the international Firestorms fight each other, and Indian Firestorm gets blown up by somebody else. Then they have another fight, and the Ronnie Firestorm and Jason Firestorm hold hands and sing Islands In The Stream, which makes Russian Firestorm disappear and then at the end French Firestorm blows up Not Madame Masque, possibly blowing herself up in the process. A new beginning is promised after Zero Month, which almost makes me wonder whether they can make it any good.

Hawkman #12: As if we didn't need any proof of Rob L's lack of ideas, his new villain he introduced in this has a bike like Lobo did in Deathstroke and the dialogue is pretty much identical. So rather than recycling his artwork, he's moved ahead to recycling scripts IN THE SAME MONTH. And this is the guy who struggles to understand why DC might not be fighting about him going. In other news, this is shit. Again.

Voodoo #12: Voodoo escapes Lord Of The Rings by being taken into space by the Blackhawks, and then goes and lives in suburbia. Other Voodoo goes and lives in a cave, and will soon turn up in Grifter. Oh good.

Month 12: Rewriting physics

Batwoman #12: JH Williams is back concentrating on the artowrk again and, although the art doesn't actually look much like him (which is kind of weird) the layouts are an absolute delight. Not so much the story, which sort of continues the old plot (which was supposed to be done) but not really and crosses over with what appears to be the JLA Wonder Woman and not the Wonder Woman Wonder Woman. I don't feel any worse for reading it, whichis sometimes all I can hope for from DC these days.

Brids of Prey #12: Ummm, when did Black Canary get standards again? She gets all snotty with Poison Ivy because "I said no kiliing". YOUR TEAM-MATES ARE A WOMAN WITH A GUN AND A WOMAN WITH A SWORD (not a Liefeld sword). You know, with an offensive strategy like that there's going to be a number of corpses along the way and indeed there have been SINCE #1. But when OOPS SPOILERS Katana apperently kills Ivy at the end, she barely even gets a telling off. WAY TO PLAY TEACHER'S PET, Dinah.

Blue Beetle #12: Paco is safe after being turned into Blood Beetle (dunno, another evil alium from the beginning of time or something because BB stabbed him through the chest the other week). You want to know how? Really? Are you sure? OK. BECAUSE BB'S SUIT ASKS HIM WWJD. Put this book out of its misery.

Captain Atom #12: Oh god, I can't do this any more. Human Captain Atom has buttsex on the couch with One Hand Captain Atom (IDNSH Trucker Hat) before she gets upset because her other boyfriend - that's the one she had dinner with ONCE, when Human Captain Atom was watching them through the window - has sent her a couple of texts so RUN to the base. Where Human Captain Atom merges with Captain Atom and unwrites the last issue. Then decides he's not human so needs to go and live on the moon. OH WAIT, along the way JT Krul explains the Big Bang Theory. No, really. You know how Dave Sim did it and everybody called him barking? This is even more mental - The Big Bang is just a reboot of the universe, destroying the previous universe in its path AND IF YOU TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT YOU CAN WATCH IT DESTROY THE OLD UNIVERSE. Once you've travelled fast and far enough to get to the edge of it obviously, which by definition must be faster than light. Words fail me. Only #0 to go though.

Catwoman #12: Some dolls get smashed, there's a couple of double crosses and Selina's latino fuckbuddy gets shot. Here's a basic tip in comocs writing though - if you reveal in the text and in vision in the same panel who the bad guy on the other end of the phone is, it just doesn't work. I know you saw it in that Bruce Willis film that time, but trust me it doesn't work when the pictures aren't moving. Apart from that, this is a typical uninspired issue. Not awful, but not any good.

DC Presents #12: Kid Flash fights Hyper-evolved dinosaurs in New York. Well, I say fight, he tries to charm one of them by buying her egg foo yung. Kid Flash is the best thing about Titans and he's great here too - a wisecracking prickly teen like nobody else is writing. Why can't more books be like this?

GLC #12: WHO CARES. But for those of you that do, the Not Manhunter that Guy and John made from bits of leftover manhunter in the last one fails to beat the Alpha Lanterns, but then it turns out that Guy and John have always had the ability to remove thier power batteries, so they commit suicide. The Guardians don't care, because they're too busy thinking about the Third Army. But it looks like they're going to kill Guy in any case, which would make sense for Baz turning up because they're not going to replace John with him now, are they? I sometimes wish I was more into the whole GL thing, then I slap myself round the face and wise up.

Green Lantern #12: And talking of which, blah blah Black Lantern blah blah Blackest Night blah blah Third Army blah blah Yellow Battery blah blah blah. This is so dull that Black Lantern stops and has a wank in an attempt to liven things up.

LoSH #12: A slugfest of an issue, but at least Bouncing Boy gets his moment in the sun. It's billed as the "final" battle with the Dominators, but I'll lay CASH MONEY that won't be true. Still for fanboys only though.

Nightwing #12: Policemen trapped in the Gotham sewers after an explosion? Seriously? Does nobody at DC take a corporate view of their product? So, in a COMPLETELY UNFORSEEABLE turn of events it seems that the Penguin is that bad guy in this as well, which could be heading us for another second tier Bat-crossover. HOLY MARKETING, BATMAN!

Red Hood #12: Hooray! A 50 Shades reference! Which makes no sense, as our heroes have been in space since it became a thing which leads us then to the Secret Origin of Arsenal. Roy must be Twilight fanfic guy. I would never have guessed. I'm quite enjoying this as a campy space opera, even if it is a bit hard to follow at times because of the daft names and it does feature The Blight who (presumably are the Tamaran version of The Rot. Or it could just be coincidence.

Supergirl #12: Kara's Fortress Of Solitude turns up under the ocean, having been built in secret by the bad guy from the first couple of issues (last seen in bits in space and being held together with jelly). She doesn't trust Superman any more either because he's not a real Kryptonian according to her, which smacks of Nationalism slightly. I never thought I'd be hankering for the byrne-isms already. A Superbook too far.

Wonder Woman #12: Apollo decides to pretend to be Zeus and reform Olympus, exiling Hera to Earth and mortality. Hermes rescuse Zola from the fighting which is going on, and then steal her baby from under everybody's noses to form a pact with Demeter. BUT NEVER MIND ANY OF THAT, ORION OF NEW GENESIS IS BACK ON THE LAST PAGE. A great book in any case, but suddenly made awesome in four panels.

Month 12: Popular culture influences abound

Batgirl #12: Gail Simone's ALL WOMEN ALL OF THE TIME schtick comes back to haunt her as she's now reduced to Batgirl fighting Batwoman. Man, there are stacks of great female heroes and villains she could fight or are they Johns-embargoed? New Wave? Hypnota? Shimmer? The Golden Glider? I mean she ice-skates on the air! What's not to like about that? Plus she even looks good to Bronies:

How much better would that make this book, eh? ONE BILLION PERCENT BETTER, THAT'S HOW MUCH.

Batman #12: Scott Snyder really concentrates on the seemingly minor character he introduced in Batman #7 (Harper Row) who it seems like is going to be the Johnsiverse Lucius Fox, or probably more accurately the Microchip (or the last version, the skate kid) to the BatPunisher. The most notable thing is how awful Becky Cloonan's art is - Harper spends the whole issue looking like she has bogies hanging down from her nose rather than a piercing and its Scott Pilgrim/TokyoPop aping is completely at odds with the Batman tenor. More successful are the last few pages by Bolland-biter Andy Clarke, but what's up with Tiger Shark's bottom lip in his first panel? And the final shot of Harper is just dreadful. But, hey ho. Get on with your next epic, Snyder.

Batman & Robin: Woohoo, NotBane fights Batman in Not The Suit From DKR while the Ex-Robins fight something from Animal Man. And ends with Bats steering a nuculer bomb into Gotham Harbour where it's safe, ejecting at the very last minute while Robin(s) looks on with a bit of sadface (plus Jason Todd is clearly styled on Robotman from the Doom Patrol). Nothing like originality, eh?

Deathstroke #12: Can the book get any more Liefeld than the cover? Isn't a reflection of a gritty teeth leaping attacker, chest at 90 degrees to the floor, reflected in a sword WITH LENS FLARE the most epic thing ever? Rob must do these in his sleep. It looks like it at times. But wait, this features some of the worst Liefeld art in the Johnsiverse. Challops I know, but check this bad boy out:

THE LIEFELDENING

Demon Knights #12: It's a TARDIS! Morgaine's got a TARDIS!

If Doctor Who writer Paul Cornell doesn't make this happen I will lose my faith in humanity (again). It also contains the best line of dialogue this month, when Vandal Savage nonchalantly states "I will not die so a woman with no face can gain different genitalia!" In truth this is kind of muddled, with more plot than almost all the rest put together crammed into the last half-dozen pages - not to mention hints at The Rot being part of the plot here also in crossover overload - but it still feels like the sleeper book of the Johnsiverse.

Frankenstein #12: Mycroft and Crowly are Number One and Number Two in this ongoing version of The Prisoner. Frank kills Leviathan, which presumably comes as a shock to Batman, although I probably commented on that last month. Why is Satan's Ring important? Because it's the maguffin that ties this into The Rot of course! IT WAS THAT OBVIOUS!

Grifter #12: "Time to blow this popsicle stand. Literally." What part of being on a spaceship makes that literal. EH? And oh good, a Superman crossover after Zero Month. I'd say I can't wait, but you know that would be a lie.

Legion Lost #12: Chameleon Girl turns into the Predator Out Of The Arnie Film. That's all I've got. Not really sure why this hasn't been cancelled going forward as this issue makes a pretty clear end.

Ravagers #4: Beast Boy turns into a Tyrannosaurus Chicken but fails to bite Brother Blood's head off, so we find out what he looks like with a chimney on him once Lightning has jumped in a Puddle of Mudd. Then Fairchild walks about in her underwear looking for Niles Caulder, who turns up all non-wheelchaired and introduces Superboy. What is it about the Johnsiverse and people who were cripples being able to walk again? Is it some kind of anti-disability propaganda? Aquaman has his hand back, so can Jericho hear? Doctor Midnight see? WHERE WILL IT END?

Resurrection Man #12: I thought this was the final issue, but it turns out that Zero is. In this one, it turns out that some/all/one of the previous issues were a virtual reality induced on a Mitch held in a stasis chamber to see what his powers did; and that the guy who was in charge wasn't, because the other Mitch was all along. Which he demonstrates by killing Mitch 2's mates after Mitch 1 kills the guy we thought was in charge. Possibly. What a clusterfuck.

Suicide Squad #12: Someone who may be Zaxton Regulus from LoSH turns out to be behind the Mayan death camp. No, wait, it was Captain Boomerang after all. NO, WAIT, IT WAS BLACK SPIDER ALL ALONG? It's much better than I'm making it sound, really. Adn on the last page, Nu-Waller turns up in the house of Old-Waller. Or that's what it looks like anyway.

Superboy #12: Superboy goes disco dancing with Paris Hilton. No, really. I wish I could make something like that up.

Month 12: Special stuff not included

Action Comics #12: At last, Grant Morrison becomes "Grant Morrison" in this book. It's full of lovely ASS/Silver Age nods, but what I take away from it most is that it says Superman was a story waiting for its time to come. A narrative causality which had some failed runs before coming true. And Adam Blake is just one of those failed runs - although between him and Susie, including the way he talks about there being 5 of them, positively reeks of it being an attempt to integrate the Marvel Family into the New 52 before being told not to so Shazam could be Johnsed up. In the rest he ties up pretty much all his loose ends; Batman turns up with his film tie-in thumb drive and tells Supes to become Clark again, and it turns out that all our hunches about Clark's landlady were bang on. We even find out that there was indeed a good reason for the panel linger on the short man in #1. I'm not sure which issue is GMoz's last, but it's hurtling towards it. After a few months of treading water, this book is back in the game.

Animal Man #12: Talking of treading water, this takes half an issue to get from the final panel of Animal Man #11 to the final panel of Swamp Thing #11, which is a good use of everyone's time. It takes the second half to get to what feels like the first panel of Swamp Thing 12. And there you have what the problem is with this issue, and to a degree with the book as a whole - that it feels completely incidental to the story it's trying to tell, which is being told more completely (and better) in other places. Which is in many ways a shame, particularly since Steve Pugh finally seems to have a handle on the art, but at least it's not BAD. Damning with faint praise? Maybe, but in the Johnsiverse there's nothing wrong with mediocrity.

Batwing #12: Not cancelled yet? Why not make things better by crossing over with a title that gets cancelled this month, starring a character whose own book was cancelled 6 months ago! As it is here, which sees Batwang team up with the JLI (who currently feature OMAC for no good reason). They invade an African country for shits and giggles, only to find out the bad guy is some sort of abundance elemental. So they beat him up anyway, and then lock him in prison so they can continue to exploit his power. This is a completely directionless book, and without the beautiful art of the first plot has nothing to recommend ongoing purchase. Batwang Zero is about how Batwang joined Batman Inc. didn't we do that already?

Detective Comics #12: Hmm. (not a Rorscach impression) Something and nothing. The radioactive man plot sort of peters out into nothing. Far better is the backup story, which outs Harvey Bullock as a workplace bully and teases the imminent return of the Joker. Who'd have thought a discarded flap of skin could lead to so much entertainment? Maybe that explains why the Jews run Hollywood? OH NOES I HAVE UNCOVERED THE PROTOCOLS OF TEH ELDRS OF ZION!

Dial H #4: After pointing out last month that what we thought was going to be the plot wasn't we get the most Mieville issue yet with talk of nullomancers and abyss-shaping. Maybe this is getting too into his style, and maybe it's getting to be for fans only but I AM ONE AND IT SUCKS TO BE YOU IF YOU'RE NOT. Still great and wildly inventive, this deserves to be DC's biggest selling book.

Earth 2 #4: Captain Atom of Earth 2 is revealed and we all laugh inwardly. HE IS NOT LIKE CAPTAIN ATOM CAPTAIN ATOM, YOU SEE? He is instead like the Ray Palmer Atom except in reverse. When he rubs himself, he gets big. That could catch on. Anyway, he gets so big he is able to make Grundy do a splurge just by touching him, which is just as well because Alan Scott has a temperemental ring. This is actually a really good book, mainly because James Robinson gets to do what he likes. So between this and Dial H, is the answer to actually have decent creative teams and give them their heads? Whatever next?

GI Combat #4: Oh God, it's Krul. And he's as bad as ever. He does things that should be beaten out of you at writer school, like having your character start a sentence by saying 'great' sarcastically, twice on the same page. Great. The art, which was quite nice in previous issues is now weirdly stilted and the big splash page actually looks like a composite image. As ever, the title is rescued by Gray and Palmiotti's Unknown Soldier which is more Punisher-esque than previous iterations but not necessarily for the worse. Plus he now seems to be resurrectable, which can't be a bad trick to have in the golf bag. Next month: surprises. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Green Arrow #12: Ann Nocenti cannot play cards. This is transparently obvious on page 1 where she tries to make equal bluffing and not hitting somebody during a fight. THERE IS NO PLACE WHERE THESE ARE CLOSE TO BEING SIMILAR. Anyway, the Chinese are racistly Chinese, to the point where the one that ends up having a conversation with Ollie has a shar-pei, JUST BECAUSE. But hey, as long as it all "sounds hot" because of some Yellow Peril bullshit then it's all good, right? Anyway, Ollie fights some people with guns and a holographic girl while someother plot critical people play golf. You know what? I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.

JLI #12: THANK FUCK IT'S OVER. (Except for the annual) But wait. The JLI stay together as the JLI with money and all kinds of stuff so nothing has changed? So why is this book finishing again? OH YEAH, BECAUSE IT SUCKS. I really have no idea what this is for or anything, it's just some shit heroes being vaguely talky and then talking more. Absolute rot.

Red Lanterns #12: After a debated over several pages about whose vengeance is purer, until it turns out that blood was all the Red battery needed to make it alive after all. You'd think that Atrocitus, having invented it, might have know that. Or, like me, you might just not give a fuck. Is Pete Milligan better than this? I don't know any more.

Stormwatch #12: Jenny Quantum daydreams that the Martian Manhunter wants to kill her because she likes non-threatening boys. She then looks at posters of non-threatening boys. Midnighter has fantasies about losing to the Martian Manhunter before beating him, sort of. Jonn Jonzz thens leaves altogether because some ancient Egyptians, who are also multi-dimensional beings from Shadow land, speak to him like he's a child. He then Doctor Light Tiny Feets Mind Rapes everyone, until the JLI turn up to kiss some penguins (which presumably is a JLAntarctica tribute, except it probably isn't).

Swamp Thing #12: ACTUALLY A PLOT after Animal Man failed to deliver. This bites, in quite a big way, Alan Moore's War In Hell isuues at the end of American Gothic, but has just enough swagger of its own to carry it off. Abby still looks like she could kick everyone's arse, which is good enough for me.

World's Finest #4: Present day stuff still awful, Kev Maguire stuff still great. A comic of two halves and at the end of the day, Brian, not everyone's a winner, I'm sick as a parrot over the moon.

Gone, gone, o form of man and rise the demon Batty Man

The Dark Knight Rises is a curious beast. It's the closing part of a trilogy, yet it ignores most of the middle film to revisit the main elements of the plot from Batman Begins and tries to do so using a modern villain unknown to most viewers schooled by Adam West and Burton et al (as I'm sure Schumacher's contribution to the franchise has been blotted from their minds). 

As such, it fails on several levels - if it's using Bane, it feels it has to shoehorn in THAT scene from Batman #497 which it does very successfully. But then the aftermath - having already set up the decay clock being triggered at 5 months - has to be rushed and can't work successfully within the narrative. It's one thing having a supernatural healer in the comics, but Tom Conti punching vertebrae back into place is a step too far. If you're going to make a more realistic Bat universe you have to deal with the fallout of that, which is that you have to adopt more human response times - you show us the frail(ish) Bruce Wayne at the beginning of the film, he sees the doctor who tells him what's physically wrong with him and PRESTO CHANGO it's all forgotten. We see Bruce with a knee brace on at one point (presumably to explain it) which then isn't visibly part of his costume and can't fit under it. 

Bane, as a character, has so many wrongs done to him here it's incredible. I'm more than happy with the reification of his mask being strong painkillers (although how that makes him strong, rather than wanting to eat tortilla chips all day doesn't stand up to too much scrutiny), but his whole part coming down to SOB SOB I WUB YOU TALIA in the end is straight up bullshit. Her presence was one of the things I had spoiled for me before I saw it, but knowing it made it all the more obvious how battered over the head you are by it as the film continues - her presence in certain scenes, the relevance of the energy cell, the strange use of language by Tom Conti and Old Blind Doctor Guy completely stand out as LOOK AT ME I'M A PLOT HINT. 

Despite all this, I enjoyed the end result quite a bit. The underground lair is kind of really well done and even the silliness of the football field is quite easily forgotten. The Bats/Cats interplay is great and Tom Hardy lends an air of camp that lightens the tone considerably. There's yet more to hate I haven't mentioned - Michael Caine's scene in the Lord Of The Rings ending springing immediately to mind - and it could undoubtedly be tighter throughout. JGL's character is an unneccesary luxury, Anne Hathaway is under-used (and seems in many ways to be proving only obscure points of Bat-continuity) and the insistence that the NYPD are better than Delta Force is ridiculous flag-waving; although I did love that one of them was still fat after 5 months underground on bread and water. Whose rations was he eating? Why did nobody else notice when he was stuffing his face with the only food supply they had? Is JGL secretly a feeder and that was his Bear? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.