Birds of Prey #14: This isn't going anywhere. Again. The Condor guy, who isn't maybe such a bad guy after all, but then is, but then isn't, but then is, is merely a sidebar in the plot. Which seems to be about getting a lot of ninjas in a room for a big fight - which the BoP run away from in any case. This isn't awful, by any means, it just isn't actively good and I can't for the life of me work out whu anyone would choose to read it.
Blue Beetle #14: So, Jaime and the other good/bad scarab blow up Scarabworld, like it was suggested last month they would, while the dead Mayan dude continues to chase them. There are an awful lot of hints about secrets to be revealed in the near future, but over a year into publication isn't the time to be introducing them. I suppose the adventures in the Reach just about do enough to make you want to read more, but with cancellation already announced it's difficult to raise the enthusiasm. This may well indicate good things for Threshold when it starts, but migrating a cancelled title character into a new book hasn't exactly worked out for Mister Terrific now, has it?
Catwoman #14: Little more than a series of set pieces designed to show Catwoman in various states of undress (including a contrived scenario to get her in the shower), but it's not dreadful at all despite being written by Ann Nocenti. At the conclusion she offers her NEW REVOLUTIONARY take on The Joker - he's gay for Batman! Wow! I never saw that coming! </snark>
DCU Presents #14: STOP GETTING BLUE DEVIL WRONG.
Facepalm indeed. Can I un-read this?
GL:NG #14: The continuing story of Kyle Rayner becoming the bestest Lantern ever sees him meeting the same people he's met before that swanned off at the end of the first plot NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. But OH NOES Carol Ferris is being conned by the Guardians because they know the whole thing is secretly to help Hal and because they hate him so much they've got a whole secret plot to undermine all the other Lanterns of all colours just in case. That's how ridiculous this book is now, the lead character isn't even what the book is about any more. It's about Hal. Which not even Hal's book is about.
Justice League #14: Superman is still a cheetah, but jungle magic cures him so he takes WW out on a hot date to eat apple pie in Smallville. The ridiculously overpowered Cheetah is captured ridiculously easily (despite her almost killing Barry Allen in the process), which may or may not be part of a secret plot on her part that has to do with the Black Manta. Batman watches Supes and WW having sex in a field on his special Super Sex Scanner. He seems unmoved by the experience, but then again we can only see one of his hands. Geoff Johns' Shazam backup is as Johns-y as you'd expect, take it or leave it.
LoSH #14: SPROING is a sound effect you don't see that much any more. It appears multiple times here, including one panel where it appears three times. That's devotion to a word. A guy with a squid face called M'WIM has lost his sword. This will undoubtedly be a bad thing in future issues.
Nightwing #14: Poor Dick. Not important enough to get a Joker crossover in the first wave. It's really eating him up too, as he can't believe a villain would just turn up randomly and attack him and the Joker must have been behind it. Villains don't turn up randomly? HAVE YOU NEVER READ A COMIC BEFORE, DICK?
Red Hood #14: Superman turns up on the off-chance that what happened in his Annual (which I'm not actually sure I bothered reading), and buggers off in the huff when he finds it didn't. Jason shags an alien girl, only for the Joker to drug her and set him up with the police. See Dick? Even a DEAD Robin gets a better Joker crossover than you. Irrespective of how good this might be, the grammar nazi in me finds this unforgivable in an edited publication:
Your kidding me.
Supergirl #14: In which Supergirl is exposed as a Nationalist bigot. Seriously, she is full of contempt for Superman and the human scientist because they speak Kryptonian with an Earth accent, which she doesn't care for. She even thinks an Irish girl (which, as we all should remember, looks just like Texas) speaks more authentic Kryptonian than them. The rest of the issue is really about whether she and H'El (who has the least Kryptonian Kryptonian name ever) should kill everyone that isn't pure blood Kryptonian. Because we all like a nice final solution in our comics, don't we?
Sword Of Sorcery #2: Re-arrange these words. DUCK LAME. Amethyst and her new friend talk about fabrics. She then gets some of her mother's power through the ability of LOVE. Quite what the power is, who knows. Putting out lights seems to be her main skill. The techno-Beowulf backup is still excellent though and well worth your attention - just don't go near Amethyst to get there.
Wonder Woman #14: This really doesn't belong in the New 52, does it. 1) It's good. 2) It's well plotted, as we get the machinations of Gods, Zeus' bastard children, sleeping giants... 3) It's good. Plus Orion turns up at the end. You can't go wrong with the New Gods now, can you.
All-Star Western #14: So, the cover is unrelated to the plot and the Barbary Ghost's clothing is frankly implausible, but there's lots to love in this as ever. Yes, we've seen Mr Hyde in LoEG and he's been as brutal here as there, but it doesn't mean it isn't great to read. The Tomahawk backup isn't the best this book has seen though, and the final panel with the horses leaving the settlement is REALLY badly drawn. But hey, with pickings as slim as DC's output you ignore things like that in a decent book.
Aquaman #14: The thing about Aquaman is, he's king of the sea. Right? So you think you'd get an artist in that can draw fish. Well OK, Pete Woods can technically draw fish, but he draws STUPID fish. The sort who have to go to a special school and aren't allowed to play with the sharp coral. Black Manta doesn't want to join the Suicide Squad, presumably because it's not written by Geoff Johns, but will tie in with Justice League, because it is. In other news, the Trench baddies from the very first plot are being brought back by somebody (and based on the adverts for the impending Throne Of Atlantis I'd bet it's a way they think can... erm... get the Throne Of Atlantis). Johnsy Johnsiness of the highest order.
Batman Inc #5: Ummm. Thrill-powered, yes, but the whole issue is an alternate future Gotham if Damian became Batman. So, back in the DCU, Bruce tells Damian he can't let that happen. Then all the other members of Batman Inc get blown up. A great read, but I'm not sure why DC are publishing this as a New 52 title.
Batman The Dark Knight #14: Wow. Does Batman really skewer the Scarecrow to the ceiling with a rope he shoots from a rocket gun? He gets pissed off because of this and buys a giant dirigible from the Penguin to infect Gotham with fear gas during the Thanksgiving/Christmas parade. The Penguin probably didn't need it any more after it didn't go so well for him in that Tim Burton film. Good stuff though, even if it feels like there isn't much to it.
I, Vampire #14: The fight from last issue doesn't happen and a guy who can't do bar magic gets turned into a vampire. This second soft reboot doesn't feel like it's going anywhere and if I'm honest it's painfully obvious that this is a dead book walking. After the next round of cancellations it's the second lowest DC seller, so it's inevitable really.
Justice League Dark #14: Better than most of the characters' own books. We get a runaround of the House of Secrets, including the big secret of who's spying on the DCU trying to find out secrets. There's going to be a war, apparently. Yes, another one.
Red Lanterns #14: Atrocitus punches a planet to death. The human Red Lantern, the new one, lives in the Middle Ages (based on the village he takes Bleez to, which definitely isn't the one he left from the first time we saw him). The Red Lanterns easily beat the Third Army in any case, which makes them the best Lantern Corps, presumably. This allows Atrocitus to muse on the colour blue, like some kind of rage-filled Van Gogh.
Superman #14: Supergirl's genocidal desires spill over to here, but Superman is largely able to explain it all away in long sentences. H'El gets in a mood because nobody will kill Superboy for him, so he smashes up a car lot. Scott Lobdell has improved the title exponentially, but having to deal with shitty crossovers is affecting his ability to deliver. Get back to Clark & Jimmy in 'One And A Half Men'.
Talon #2: Do we really need this? It's well written and engaging enough, because you can never have too much OWLS, but it really does feel like one BatBook too many, even though it isn't really one. Might be worth taking a 6 month view on, not least because I think it'll read better as a trade anyway.
Teen Titans #14: Cassie takes her armour back, which kills her archaeologist boyfriend. She doesn't seem to cut up about it. Kiran finally realises she's naked and gets all embarrassed in front of someone from the "current" issue of Birds of Prey, by which presumably they mean #15 as I've just read #14 and don't recognise the character I'm obviously supposed to. What are the chances of that, an incorrect editorial boxout?
Flash #14: Grodd back and more powerful than before, with control over the speed force now. I won't spoil the ending, but this is super stuff again and maybe the most consistently good book in the Johnsiverse.
Firestorm #14: Just when you thought this book couldn't get any worse, Captain Atom has turned up. With a really weirdly shaped head. Somebody cancel this, please? It's the actual lowest seller not yet cancelled, and sells less than the already-cancelled Frankenstein. Just put it out of its misery, please?
Hawkman #14: And talking of poor sellers, the third lowest-selling not-cancelled book. Home of the Liefeld retells Deathstroke #14 over two pages, and Green Arrow shoots some arrows into Thanagarians' faces. We get wonders of Liefeld writing like this:
Can we make it stop please? Pretty please?
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