New 52 Month 14: An unexpected rift appears

Action #14: Ummm. Yeah. The human terraforming mission to Mars is under threat because other terraformers have dibs on the planet. Then some other terraformers, who are a bit like the bad Angels from Doctor Who, turn up as well as they've been doing this relelntlessly since they tried to do it to Krypton (leaving aside that they've only done 200 planets in the entire time Kal-el has been alive, which isn't exactly startling pace) but luckily the middle terraformers are Mek-Quake from Ro-Busters and so powerful enough to smash the angels, until Superman electrocutes them in the 5th Dimension. Wait, multi-dimensions? After the reveal about Clark's landlady the other month, that can only mean one thing! Yes, it's Vyndktvx, the Johnsiverse version of Mr Mxyzptlk! Only he's a bad, vindictive little multi-dimensional sprite and not the trickster we know and love and he's been behind EVERYTHING! GOSH! Does this sound like fanwank? Thrill-powered as it is, I suspect it might. Still, it all works out all right. We know that because the Sholly Fisch backup takes place the week after it. Way to go, editors.
Animal Man #14: I want to like this. Really I do, but I know it's not real. Rotworld is an Elseworlds book, as in real-time in the Johnsiverse the rot has already started taking over and in the future it has. Enjoying it for what it is then, it's always pleasant to see Grifter get his head ripped off. Beast Boy cares for him as much as I do and you can never be sure it's not just Jeff Lemire channelling directly.

So much of this doesn't make sense though. Gorilla City is now in America? And why try and make explicit AGAIN that this IS the Johnsiverse by having Black Orchid talk about Steve Trevor's black projects? The confused mess this ends up is purely because of the attempts to make the 52 universe a tangible thing. If this was just lurking off as a Vertigo book or something everything would be fine. In what I'm sure is a complete coincidence, amid dialogue about turncoats, the heroes who are shown to have gone over to the other side are Grifter, Deathstroke and Hawk & Dove. I mean, it is just a coincidence Rob Liefeld was working on all of those, right? Otherwise them being the only ones picked on would be a really petty bit of whiny bitching, yeah? It would make you wonder what Jeff Lemire could have against him, were it any more than a coincidence? Or what an editorial hold DiDio and Johns had over him to force him to write them in. Were it not just a coincidence that draws a connection between Rob L and being a traitor. But obviously it's a coincidence. OBVIOUSLY. I can't believe I even noticed it.
Batwing #14: Oh God, I had forgotten about this. Africa is full of magic, yes, and everybody has hanging about a special amulet to protect them from the magic. If they're not ancient magic people then they're mercenaries who sometimes work as vigilantes to make up for it. This really is dreadful racist nonsense at the heart of it, about how DIFFERENT Africa is. Not proper, like America. Everyone lives in shacks or ruins. They're all corrupt. They all believe in magic. You just keep telling your self that and you'll fit right in.
Detective #14: Whut? The carefully built plot from the last issue is thrown away in four pages, Brids of Prey is actively dissed and then the plot of the Ivy story ignored... oh, and she's married to Clayface now. It's Helena I feel sorry for, being deserted like that. Is the Johnsiverse really trying to tear itself apart, based on this month so far?
Dial H #6: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. What happens when the Dial gives you somebody you couldn't possibly go outside with in this day and age? You in heap big trouble. Nelson and Rox pass the day waiting for the effects to wear off in one of those instances, while discussing other times. Maybe my favourite issue so far, and that's a big claim. I'm just sorry we won't see Wingy again.
Earth 2 #6: GRUNDY NOT SMASH MOON! STUPID MOON! If only Jeff Lemire was as clever as James Robinson, hunh?
GI Combat #6: Haunted Tank is as much fun as Iron Sky. That's enough of an explanation as you need. Unknown Soldier is kind of meh, but not enough to drag the enjoyment of the book overall. See DiDio? This is what happens when you get rid of people like JT Krul. People end up ACTUALLY LIKING what you publish.
Green Arrow #14: Hawkman and GA have a fight with lots of other Hawkmen, while chucking out huge chunks of exposition and talking about COMPLETE BATTLE COLLAPSE and the like. Ann Nocenti proves she's the mastermind behind those things people put on Facebook by claiming "you can't unring a bell" is an Ancient Chinese Proverb, when it actually came from a US court case in the 50s. Oh good. It continues in Deathstoke (who hasn't actually been in it yet) and Hawkman. Deep joy.
Green Lantern #14: The Guardians talk to a guy made of light about how much they love Hal Jordan before discussing how they're going to save and/or destroy the universe and ponder the value of the soul. The Justice League turn up, and in a wonder of Superhero Sadface realise that NOT EVERY ARAB IS A TERRORIST. Well, except Aquaman. He still thinks that. Flash is kind of amazed that an imaginary car doesn't behave like a normal car and actually does what the guy who imagines it wants it to do. The Black Hand tries to save the Guardians locked in the box in the middle of space and Hal and Sinestro, who are still dead, go to the House of Mystery. Probably. I can't tell any more.
Stormwatch #14: Etrigan (who might not be Etrigan, as his rhyming is back and he's significantly de-powered) is fighting Stormwatch, who think he was one of the people the Demon Knights fought. Because, as we all know, Demon Knights were Stormwatch before Stormwatch. Of course. How stupid of me. Also, a superhero fight is a bit like the Olympics. No, it seriously says this. Anyway, Stormwatch is now only about the Shadow Lords, whatever they are. And Midnighter realises beating people up can cure him of being gay. You might think I'm just checking you're still reading, but no, this is what happens on the last page. I'd love to pretend it doesn't, but unfortunately this is where DC have got to. Really quite horrific.
Swamp Thing #14: Despite existing in the same Elseworld as Animal Man, this is a rollicking read as the green heroes left move to the same unavoidable fight as the red heroes - except in a convincing and entertaining way. But it' tiring reading and writing so much bad material. I need a nap before I attempt anything else. Night night.