Month 13: Askit fights the miseries. And the misery is Geoff Johns.

Action #13: Other people have talked about getting off the GMoz bus after the way this book has gone, and after several months of just being unimpressed this drivel has me rapidly agreeing with them. The tale of Krypto has the trappings of We3 in places and although the Phantom Zone is reborn well the whole reason why the bad guy is dressed as a mummy apart from it being Hallowe'en is never explained or even questioned apart from OOH SPOOKY. What next? Jimmy Olsen as a Sexy Pirate? Add to this a Phantom Stranger which is entirely inconsistent with the New52 official version as established during zero month and you just have a mess. Poor old Solly Fisch's backup is even more desperate, the sort of thing a primary school kid would write if given the assignment to tell the story of a ghost dog. Thanks DC for letting me cut one of the books I was still buying. Although I'm not sure that's your intent.
Animal Man #13: I'm going to keep this simple. At least twice, Buddy asks the question we're thinking while reading. "Tell me this is... some alternate dimension or something". And he is reassured that no, this is the real Earth, this is the real Johnsiverse, The Flash, Supergirl, Batwoman, Hawkman (that we actively see) are all dead and consumed by The Rot. I repeat, this is really, asbsolutely definitely what happens to the Johnsiverse in a year's time and is not an alternate Earth or another dimension, or some time wrinkle or anything like that. I'm getting the popcorn, this is the clusterfuck to end them all.
Batwing #13: All Africans can do witch doctor magic. All African police are corrupt. Any Africans that can't do magic are Batwing or have magic swords and are also undercover policemen. Everybody in Africa is related. Oh Winickpaws.
Detective #13: BRUCE WAYNE'S PHILANTHROPY EXPLAINED! He only gives money to charity so that when he beats up thugs the money that gets spent on their medical help doesn't mean that more deserving victims get treatment because he makes sure there's enough cash to treat them all. OF COURSE. We next see him giving money for a Children's Wing. Just who exactly are these "criminals" he's "punishing", eh? FRED WERTHAM WAS RIGHT AFTER ALL. In the actual plot, the bad guys from Nightwing (who are also, it appears, the bad guys in the new Green Arrow TV series) are paid by the Penguin to kill Bruce Wayne as part of a plot to improve Cobblepot's public image. Yeah, I'm not sure exactly how that was supposed to work either. Oh, and there are no superheroes in the Johnsiverse Miami, according to the backup. Really? Not Aquaman then?
Dial H #5: More inspired weirdness even if, as Mieville deliberately acknowledges "it's just a bad pun". We get the partial resolution of the plot to date then the tease of more to come. I'm expecting one month to report that he's got it wrong, but it's not this month. I strongly suspect that a year will be the absolute limit it can get stretched out for, in which case it'll make the first truly essential trade of the modern era.
Earth 2 #5: Gays. You can't trust them not to betray you, eh? What do you mean that's not what I was supposed to think? Then what else were the last pages about? Actually, this is a perfectly adequate book even if the constant Golden Age refs do feel a bit "for the fans" rather than actually adding anything and overall it's telling exactly the same Rotworld/Black Hand story from the real Johnsiverse. It's just kind of pointless really.
GI Combat #5: With JT Krul gone and the Haunted Tank installed this book rises to the top level of this week's output. What initially seems like a bad case of Old Man Shouting At The TV turns into a pseudo-mystical romp featuring some of Howard Chaykin's best-looking work in years. Unknown Soldier is merely competent, but I still can't wait for next month. BRINGING BACK THE FUN.
Green Arrow #13: Ann Nocenti proves she's really Frank Miller with some anti-Chinese Dirty Commie bullshit that is otherwise impenetrable. "China's pride and ambition know no bounds." "I'm sorry Suzie Ming. You seem personally hurt by the history of your China." The whole thing is about China trying to cheat their way to technological advancement by stealing it from America and adds to the confusion by assuming all Asians are the same as we have women with swords and ghosts of ancestors talking to people (like our old friend Katana) and that ancient Chinese tradition of karaoke. Do these people really still live in the 80s? Party on duds!
Green Lantern #13: Geoff Johns fucks continuity a big one up the arse again on page one of this bollocks. You know how I described the problems of his carrying things over into GL:NG and how the proliferation of that story affects any number of other titles? Well, in panel 3 he says Kyle Rayner became a Green Lantern two years ago. So, GL:NG took place two years ago. In which case, so did GL #12. WAIT A MINNIT, WHO BROUGHT US ONE YEAR LATER? Only this time it's through an accident... And Obama is president. So, to be clear, Justice League #1 happened when Shrub was Pres. Yes? If I go back and read that again it'll confirm it? Bush set up Team 7 with Waller in charge, yes? Oh, and Baz is from MIAMI. Who are the editors again? The Mosque have banned the family of somone involvd in terrorism and so have his sister's work DO YOU SEE? The Third Army are looking for Mr Baz. Even if that makes him sound like one of Basil Brush's handlers. As are the Justice League. OOOOOOOOOOOH WHO GIVES A FUCK.
Stormwatch #13: Peter Milligan is a fucking idiot. He manages to make the introduction of Etrigan a chore, which is ever so slightly A GIANT FUCKING MISTAKE. I love Etrigan and you're not treating him very well. With JT Krul and Rob gone, I think Pete is the worst writer on the books. Which would worry anybody if it wasn't Geoff Johns writing the cheques. I hate all of this.
Swamp Thing #13: As in Animal Man, the Johnsiverse is destroyed a year in the future. Or is that a year in the past depending on what books you believe? This cannot end well. Is there really a plan behind this? REALLY?
World's Finest #5: At least we're finish with some intentional light relief. No, we're not. In a stroke of genius, DiDio has cancelled the one part of this book that was actually good and so instead we get a ho-hum villain-of-the-week Huntress and power Girl story which improves my life not one jot.
Two readable books out of 12 does not predispose me to continuing this, I have to say.